Down Poison
by Moderndaydrifter
Summary: The psychological aspect of a person's mind is a complicated thing to understand, but should never be ignored.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: **__Here's a new story I've decided to try out. I'm going to try and associate most of the characters of the show in future chapters so if you are a fan of people I have not included yet, stay tuned…they will show up soon!_

_**Disclaimer: **__Don't own anything associated with Friday Night Lights._

_**Spoilers: **__Through where we are in season 2._

_**Summary: **__The psychological aspect of a person's mind is a complicated thing to understand, but should never be ignored._

**_Down Poison Chapter One_**

Rain. The pattering of the showers hit the windowpane in what seemed like a rhythmic pattern. Some drops were huge, some very light, almost like early morning dew. The condensation from the moisture made looking through the glass very challenging.

Eric pushed his fingers through the half-opened blinds, running his index and middle fingers through the fog, making two parallel lines. Rain. Why was it raining again? His team needed some good workouts and this weather was only going to do one thing, hinder any step forward for this program. Indoor workouts were never a success. The focus seemed to be elsewhere and the intensity of his athletes was completely sucked out of the room.

He leaned back in his office chair, propping his left foot up on a shelf near him. The metal of his seat squeaked a little, causing him to cringe from the unpleasant sound that bounced off of his eardrums. He sifted through some paperwork, taking notice to Matt Saracen standing in the threshold of the door that separated his area from the locker room where loud laughter and talking could be heard.

"Can I help you with something Saracen?" He lifted his Dillon Panther baseball cap and ran a hand through his disheveled hair, trying to read the facial expression of his first string quarterback.

Matt nodded, entering the room completely. Coach took notice to his hesitation but that was nothing new from Saracen, he always seemed a little nervous and on edge about everything.

"Sir, are we going to practice outside today?"

Coach Taylor smirked, leaning forward. Saracen was a good kid but sometimes he wasn't sure about him. His insecurities made him question just what type of leader he could be out on the field but last season proved enough for him. He had grown into a good guy on the field and off.

"Does it look like we are practicing outside? The field is about 10 feet under water. You feel like swimming?"

Matt shifted his weight, unsure of how to answer him. "No..No sir. The guys were just wondering, that's all."

"I'll let you know son."

"Okay, thanks." Matt made his exit, leaving Coach alone again.

"Practice outside.." Coach mumbled to himself as he stood up and grabbed his blue Panther play book and hoisted it under his left arm. He walked in front of where his team sat, staring at each of them before he began to speak. His coaching staff was present as well, waiting on word from him.

"Unless you boys feel like joining the swim team today we are going to practice indoors." He paused, his eyes moving around the room. "That doesn't mean that the intensity level drops down either, I want to see you work your asses off today, 110 or you go home. Is that clear?"

In unison, each player spoke up. "Yes sir."

"One more time."

"YES SIR!"

* * *

Eric was glad to be home. Practice had pretty much gone how he had expected. It seemed like any time there was a weather change that the kids were rambunctious and not focused in the least bit. They probably would've been better off playing on the wet field.

He sat in his Explorer a few moments, staring at the porch light that flickered out brightly onto their sidewalk. He was really growing frustrated with how a few things were going.

For one, he had built up this Dillon Panther program and got these boys playing together. They brought back a state championship his first year. All of that work looked like it had washed down a street gutter and into a drainage lake when he came home from TMU.

There was no chemistry between his players anymore. The spark of the game was gone and the fire inside of them had been dissipated down to embers. How could something so amazing collapse in just a few months? Funny how building up a program can take years but killing one could be a success in a matter of a few days.

He put the SUV into park and got out, grabbing his duffel bag before he made his entrance into his home. He smelled something good even before he opened the door and his stomach growled in response to the appetizing aroma.

Gracie was sleeping in a playpen and Julie was on the couch, watching something while she was doing homework. He greeted Tami by wrapping his arm around her waist and hugging her back as she continued to prepare their dinner.

"Hey hon, that smell is tormenting me." He opened the fridge, rummaging through some leftovers until he found his 12 pack of Coors Light stashed towards the back, grabbing one.

"Making meatloaf. I actually had the energy to cook today, Gracie was in a good mood all day."

He took a long sip of the amber liquid, savoring the flavor on his taste buds. He walked into the living room, leaning over the edge to see Gracie sound asleep. It seemed like every time he glanced at his youngest daughter she had grown some, amazing how babies changed so quickly.

He averted his eyes to his eldest; her stare was still on the open book on her lap.

"Hey monkey noodle, what'cha doing?"

She still did not look up, but pursed her lips and flipped a page over, trying to make it evident that she didn't want to be bothered.

"Earth to Julie." Sarcasm was thick on his voice as he sat beside her on the couch. "You doing alright?"

"Dad, I'm a little busy. I don't have time to talk right now."

He leaned forward, glancing at the TV and back at Julie. Living with a teenager really was taking its toll on him. He knew how rough it would be from being one himself but having a daughter going through it was something he never had expected or prepared for.

"What's your hurry?"

Julie finally looked up, her brown eyes glaring at her father. "I'm going out tonight with some friends so I need to get this done."

"You're going out tonight? With who?" He threw his baseball cap on the table, watching it slide across the smooth glass before it came to a stop on the corner.

"Dad, I've already talked to mom about it. It's some friends from school, everything is fine."

He shifted his weight in his chair, eyeing the TV and then back to Julie. "Go do your work in your bedroom please." He grabbed the remote, quickly turning the channel before his daughter could even object.

"I was watching that!" Her voice raised, causing Gracie to stir in her playpen.

Eric took in a deep sigh, turning the TV off altogether. "If you don't have time to say hello to your father than you certainly don't have time to watch TV while doing homework, now go finish it in your room." He paused, taking note to her facial expression. "End of discussion."

"I'm not sure what I hate more, you being in Austin or you coming back home. Besides, the team sucks anyway, not like you coming back is going to save them." She shut her book firmly and stomped down the hallway to her room.

Eric was more shocked by her comment than anything. His anger flared shortly after, gritting his teeth as he stood up, trying to get in the last word before she closed herself up in her bedroom like she always did during arguments.

"Who in the HELL do you think you are?" His voice echoed through the house, now fully awakening Gracie.

Julie stopped at her door, turning around quickly. Her eyes were red from being on the verge of crying. "I'm your oldest daughter, you know, your first born, or have you forgotten that I'm your daughter too?" Before she allowed Eric to respond she opened the door and slammed it behind her, causing some pictures on the wall to rattle.

Eric stood in the same spot, looking down a now empty hallway. "Go off and run into your room like you always do."

Tami peaked around the corner of the kitchen door, her eyebrow arched. "What was that about?"

Eric walked into the kitchen, grabbing another can of beer from the refrigerator. "Nothing. Let me sit back and enjoy one of the few things that hasn't frustrated me today."

* * *

After supper Eric seemed to be relaxed a little more than earlier in the evening. He was sitting out on the back patio, another beer within reach. The sound of the sliding glass door interrupted his thoughts and revealed Tami on the other side, making her way to the table where he was.

"Hey hon, how many of those have you had tonight?" She sat down adjacent to him, leaning in for a small peck on the lips.

He grinned, skidding the aluminum can across the metal surface in front of them. "I'm on my fifth."

"Your fifth? What's the occasion?"

Eric shrugged, staring down at the ground. He wasn't sure what the occasion was; he just wanted to enjoy a nice evening, relaxed without many worries on his mind.

"Just felt like drinking a few." He leaned in, his smile growing bigger as he put his right hand on the side of Tami's face, brushing some of her hair back behind her ear. "How about you have a glass of wine with me?"

Sometimes Tami enjoyed when Eric had had a few too many but right now she was kind of annoyed with him. She could smell the beer on his breath, it lingering heavy in front of her. She grabbed his hand, pulling it away. "Eric, you know I can't drink."

He gave out a faint laugh, the expression of excitement on his face never leaving. "Why not?" His voice squeaked a little, making him giggle again as he sipped on the beer can.

"For one, I'm breast feeding. You want Gracie to get drunk with us because it would be just like pouring it into a bottle for her." It was obvious that she was joking about that, the body obviously would filter the wine through, but it was a line of defense she could use. She paused, rolling her eyes at the fact that Eric was finding this all too amusing and she wasn't. "And two, just what we need to do, both of us get drunk with no one around to take care of her."

He sat the beer can down hard, causing some of it to spew from the top.

"That's great, that's just great. You made me spill my beer."

He watched it go on the table and looked back up at his wife, taking note to the fact that she wasn't enjoying this as much as he was.

"I'm not asking you to get drunk Tami. One little glass of wine is not going to hurt anything." He arched his eyebrow. "Just one glass, for old times sake."

"I hate you," she remarked as she stood up. "You are so damn persistent." She walked back into the house and came back out with a bottle of white wine and 2 glasses. "You sure mixing your liquor is wise? I don't want to have to baby you all night, we know how childish you are when it comes to being sick."

He clapped his hands together, pulling her in for a deep kiss. At that moment all of the frustrations from the day were gone, it was just he and Tami out on the back porch, enjoying each other's company until the next round of life was thrown at them.

_TBC….let me know if I should continue, thanks!_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note:** Here's chapter two of Down Poison. Sorry this update took awhile, what can I say, the holiday season is upon us and I've been super busy but I'll try my best on the next update!_

_**Spoilers: **__Where we are currently in season two._

_**Special Thanks: JoeDude, hopeless-grace, riggs, Scanner-cat-scat, **__and __**Maryilee. **__Your responses are greatly appreciated. Also to one of my beta readers, Maryilee for helping me out with ideas and grammar! Thanks!_

**_Down Poison Chapter Two_**

The next morning Eric woke up about fifteen minutes before his alarm clock went off. Staring at the digital numbers beaming throughout the dark room he couldn't help but smile. He hated when he knew he only had a little more time to sleep but liked the fact that he had those last minutes to snuggle up next to Tami before the hustle of the day began.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her warm body up against his. She stirred a little but her words were only mumbles to him. The night before was on his mind, how he and Tami actually had some time to themselves. They had a quick escape from reality before they were quickly brought back down from cloud nine when both Julie and Gracie needed them. He loved his kids, but those very seldom moments he could spend with his wife were greatly cherished since they were practically non existent nowadays.

He glanced back at the clock; it was now 6:40 which meant five more minutes until that annoying sound came blaring through his eardrums. He suddenly began to fight with his thoughts. Should he get up and just get it over with or wait those extra five minutes as if that would make him rest anymore? Such a hard decision to make so early in the morning but he decided to get up, kicking his legs over the side, revealing a much colder temperature above the covers.

"It's not time to get up yet," Tami mumbled, her face buried in the comforter. "Get back in bed."

"It's almost 6:45."

"Wake me up when you get out of the shower." She said again, her eyes dozing off.

Knowing that it would make Tami wake up or piss her off, Eric quickly pulled the covers off of her, a laugh echoing through the walls of their bedroom.

"Hell no sleepy head, if I've gotta be up then you do too. I even got up all night with Gracie so get up lazy bones."

She grumbled, sitting up quickly. "Fine, then at least make me some damn coffee!"

* * *

"..And so the bear says, you didn't come here to hunt did ya?" 

Eric heard the tail end of the joke McGill was telling to a couple of other coaches as he walked into his office, taking note to the fact they were all lounging around in a circle not getting much of anything done. There was a small muffle of laughter but it subsided when they took note to their superior standing in the threshold of the door.

He said nothing as he stood behind his desk, setting down a stack of paper and his coffee mug. He looked up; trying to stay calm but his temper was flaring.

"Gentlemen, what's going on here?"

McGill smirked, standing up from the love seat. "Eric, we were just throwing around a few jokes, want to hear it?"

Coach shook his head no. "I thought I asked you boys to set up a practice for this afternoon and have it ready for me." He chewed on the inside of his cheek, a bad habit he had picked up recently.

"Eric, we were just taking a break.."

He folded his arms over his chest, his face blank with expression. "You know what I'm seeing right now?" He paused, letting the question linger over their heads. "I'm seeing a football program that has gone to hell. I'm seeing athletes on this team that lost their passion for the game. And worst of all, I'm seeing a coaching staff that seems not to care."

No one had a response; they just sat in the quiet allowing Coach Taylor to vent.

"Let's get to work, I don't want to walk in and see us off task again." He sat down hard in his chair, sifting through mounds of work he had to get started on. "See you out on the field."

He leaned back in the chair, staring at some pictures he had on his desk of Tami, Julie and Gracie. Here he thought that his family was done, that it would just be the three of them but fate thought otherwise. He loved Gracie and was thankful she had unexpectedly came into their lives. He was never one for drastic surprises but that was life, there was nothing they could do about it. Sixteen years of raising Julie were done and now they had to start over with their five-week-old.

He stood up, peaking around the corner at McGill. "Hey Mac, I gotta run an errand right quick. I'll be back in like thirty minutes."

"Where you headed?"

Coach was almost annoyed at the fact that his assistant was questioning him but he gave him the benefit of the doubt. "I gotta run by the sports store. That soccer coach is still hounding me about soccer balls for her team. I better get that marked off of the list before she winds up killing me."

That was another surprise thrown his way. He was now the Dillon High School athletic director just to get more money on his paycheck, which still was not the same amount as last year. As if coaching the state championship team wasn't enough for him he was now in charge of every athletic program the school had to offer, including the fired up girl's soccer coach that demanded some soccer balls or she'd hang him up on the flag pole for the whole town to see.

He walked to his Ford Explorer, feeling the humid air brush up on his skin. He turned the key in the ignition, the SUV coming to life as he put it into reverse and was on his way. Something didn't feel right as the automatic transmission had a hard time shifting gears each time the Rpm's went up. The truck jerked each time the gears changed, jolting Eric forward and then backward.

"What the hell," he said to himself. "Just what I need right now."

He pulled the vehicle to the side of the road and got out, lifting the hood up. He instantly noticed a brownish fluid leaking down onto the asphalt beneath him. He knew instantly that it was more than likely his transmission so he grabbed his cell phone, dialing up Tami.

"Hello?"

"Tam, its Eric. I need you to pick me up at the mechanic shop over on 5th street."

"Why, what's going on?"

"I gotta take the truck in, I think something is up with the transmission on it." He looked down the road and back at the car, hoping it would make it that far. "Just meet me there in like ten minutes."

"Okay."

* * *

"How much did they say it was going to cost?" Tami didn't turn and look at Eric as she kept her eyes on the road but could see his demeanor from her peripheral vision. 

He ran his hands through his hair, staring out of the passenger side window. "They aren't sure yet but it's the transmission, it's going to be pretty high."

"How long is it going to take them?"

He shrugged. "I don't know that either." He threw his hat on the dashboard, his mind racing one hundred miles a minute. "How are we going to afford this?" He averted his eyes towards his wife.

"We'll be okay."

He gave out a sarcastic laugh, running his index finger down his nose. "You seem to have forgotten the fact that I'm not getting paid near what I did last year at this time right? And we also didn't have a baby then either."

"What do you want me to say Eric? You want to put Gracie up for adoption? We'll just have to hope they let us pay it out and if that doesn't happen we'll have to borrow some money. What else can we do?"

"Borrow some money?" He swallowed hard. "And who might we borrow the money from because your mother hates me, she thinks I'm the devil for stealing you away! We are the last people that she would give money to."

Tami glared at him. "How about _your_ parents?"

Another sarcastic laugh. "My parents? I'll never hear the end of that one."

"Well I guess we all have to make sacrifices now don't we?"

Eric didn't have a response to that. He sat in silence the rest of the ride back to the high school, the stress beginning to boil over. This morning it was a mere simmer and now it was an all out fire inside of him. What was he going to do? Borrowing money was going to be last resort, he knew that much.

* * *

Tim Riggins was nervous. Nervous about the fact that a few weeks back Coach Taylor had kicked him off of the team. He had to admit that he probably deserved it, but football was his life and he'd do anything to get back on the squad, even go to Coach's office and plead with him. 

He approached the open door, still having the courtesy to knock before entering. Eric's head jolted up, seeing his former full back standing there.

"What can I do for you Riggins?"

Tim walked in, standing across from him. "Coach, what can I do to get back on the team?" He stared down at the leader he came to respect as a sensation of nausea overtook his stomach. Coach Taylor intimidated him, and not many men had that power.

"Well son, you should've thought about that before skipping a week's worth of practices and a game. A crucial game where we needed you."

"I know sir, Street needed me. I thought Coach Macgregor was still here. I didn't know you were coming back."

Coach nodded, twirling an ink pen in his fingers. "That's still unacceptable. It doesn't matter who is coaching; you still can't hang your team out to dry. You really should've let someone know."

"Yes sir." Tim shifted his weight, knowing deep down that he had not made any headway with him. "I just need to be back on the team."

"Riggins, your spot has been filled at the moment. I suggest you get to class son."

Riggins nodded, not wanting to leave but knew that he better before he made things worse. The first step in showing respect was doing what you were told, something he was slowly learning.

Coach Taylor watched as he made his exit, a debate beginning in his mind. He hated to admit it but he really needed Riggins. He was one of the best full backs he had ever coached. But on the other side, Riggins had taken advantage of his status on the team, disrespecting his teammates and coaches. How would that make him look if he allowed that behavior to go unpunished? He had no idea what he was going to be about that situation.

* * *

It was Wednesday night, which meant that Tami was at her book club meeting. Gracie was asleep in her playpen and Julie was locked away in her bedroom, not being sociable at all. 

Eric stared at the TV but really didn't comprehend what was being said. He had so many things on his mind at the moment that he couldn't even think up a rational thought. He looked down at Gracie, running his fingertips over her smooth scalp. His job as a father was to do whatever he could to keep his kids safe and healthy and at the moment he felt like he was failing miserably at it.

He had made some pretty crazy decisions recently that made him ashamed to even talk about it. He took the job at TMU only to regret it the second he got there. He then quit the job to come home, but now he wasn't sure if that was wise either. At least with TMU he was making good money and wouldn't have to scrounge just to get the car fixed. He was never good at making decisions.

He walked to the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet as well as his bottle of Jack Daniel's from above the stove. He poured some of the amber colored liquid into the glass and swirled it around a little, gulping it down quickly. It gave a slight burn down his esophagus but he poured some more, savoring the flavor for a second time.

He sat at the bar, reading the label of the whiskey. His attention span wasn't too long and he began to think about everything again.

His car breaking down. He really did not want to ask his parents for help. He could hear his father now. _'If you would've gone pro you wouldn't have a money issue. You should've never married Tami and you'd be making it big right now.'_ Eric closed his eyes, sipping on the burning liquid.

Then there was Julie. He knew teenage years were confusing and hard but he felt like he was losing control with his oldest. She was one of the main reasons he had moved back, she had been running all over her mother. He loved her so much and it hurt him to see how much she had changed in a short nine-month period.

He heard the front door creak open, thankful that Tami had arrived home. He didn't get up from the stool but waited for her to approach him. He was feeling a slight buzz from drinking but wasn't in such a good mood this time.

"Eric? Where's the girls?" She sat her purse down on the counter taking note to the whiskey in his grasp.

"Gracie's asleep, Julie's not talking to me." He finished off his third glass, tempted to pour another. "How was the meeting?"

She smiled, pulling her hair back in a ponytail. "It was okay, same gossip, different person." She placed the bottle of whiskey back where it went and sat down beside him, pulling him in for a kiss. "How much have you had tonight?"

"A couple. Just needed to relax a little." His voice was low and hoarse. He felt awkward admitting things to her so he really didn't go into much detail. From his point of view he needed to be the strong one and admitting that he was stressed out made him feel like a wuss.

"You smell like you've had a lot."

He stood up, pushing the stool in. "Are you monitoring how much I drink now?"

She shook her head. "No hon, I'm just saying you smell like whiskey."

He gritted his teeth, walking down the hallway towards his bedroom. "Look, I'm going to go to bed early tonight, it's been a long day." He didn't wait for her to respond, shutting the door behind him with a loud thud.

"Well good night to you too," she said quietly. She wasn't sure if she should go talk to him or leave him alone, so she did what her instincts told her to do and let him cool down.

_TBC…_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three**_

Eric rolled over in bed, seeing that it was around 6:30 AM. He tried to fall back to sleep but was wide-awake, staring up at the ceiling fan that swirled over them. Glancing at Tami his mind went back to the night before when he lost his temper with her. He really didn't have a basis for why he had gotten so mad at her but he felt like he had been patronized for wanting to relax and have a few drinks.

Kicking his legs off of the side of the bed, he stood up and made his way to the kitchen. The house was cool and quiet; no one else had awakened for the day. He ran his hands through his disheveled hair, opening up the refrigerator and glancing in at some of the food. Nothing caught his eyes so he rummaged through the pantry, shutting the door with nothing that satisfied him. As if something different were to magically appear in the refrigerator, he looked again, his eyes staring down at a 12 pack of beer on the bottom shelf.

He knew he had to go to work in a little while but he grabbed a long neck and unscrewed the top, sipping the cold liquid. 'One beer won't hurt,' he thought, grabbing the paper from the porch. He sat down at the kitchen table, spreading it out in front of him. Same old news in this town, he wasn't even sure why he had made a subscription to the Dillon Daily News.

He traced his finger in the ring of water that the beer had made on the surface of the table. He spotted Tami out of the corner of his eye, his glance looking up at his wife who had just gotten up.

"Eric?"

He nodded, "Hey babe."

"What time did you get up?" She sat down across from him, noticing the beer but remaining quiet about it for the time being.

"6:30. Went to bed early last night so I got some good sleep." He was lying through his teeth; he didn't sleep well at all from all of the stress he had on his mind.

She poured herself a cup of coffee still debating to herself whether or not she should say something in fear of another fight.

"That's good babe, you need some rest." She sat down again, propping her head up with her hand. "You really think it's wise to be drinking that before work?" She couldn't hold back the question any longer and hoped that he'd be cool about it.

His eyes moved from her down to the dark bottle. "It's just one beer Tami, it's not going to phase me."

"At 6:45 in the morning? Why do you need a beer this early?"

He shrugged, trying to be calm but he felt threatened again. He really wasn't sure why he had an urge to have one, to be honest he didn't even give it a second thought.

"I'm feeling a little hung over this morning. I always heard drinking a beer is like the hair of the dog. It helps it out." He kept his voice low, not able to look Tami in the eye as he spoke.

She smirked. "And who did you hear this from, Tim Riggins? Hon, that is bull crap. Do you need to talk about something, maybe blow off some steam? You are wound up tight lately and your behavior is really freaking me out."

Eric stood up, drinking down what was left. "I'm fine. I just wanted a beer before work, is that so hard to believe?" He threw the glass in the trashcan, going down the hallway towards his room. "What is bothering me is the fact that you are acting like my mother."

"No, I'm acting like someone that cares and if you are too ignorant to see that than I guess it's your mistake, not mine."

"I gotta get in the shower or I'm going to be late," he responded, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Eric arrived at work around 8:15, pulling into his parking spot. He had to ride with Tami since the Explorer was in the shop, another hinder added to his list. He paused before getting out, grabbing a stick of spearmint gum from his glove compartment before heading in. To his surprise, Mac was there before him, putting together some playbooks.

"Hey Coach, good morning," Mac said, patting him on the back.

Eric nodded, sitting down hard in his office chair. He stared down at a family picture of the four of them; everyone looked so happy and glad to be around each other. Too bad that wasn't the real truth. It seemed that Julie wanted to leave home as soon as she could and Tami was just out to nag him all of the time. Gracie worried him as well. He wasn't making near the money he was last year and he feared that with her around now he wouldn't be able to provide for his the way he should.

"You hear me Eric?" Mac was now sitting across from him. He hadn't even realize he had left the copy machine.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Eric's eyes burned as he looked up.

"I was saying that we really need to work on our pass game today at practice. When McGregor was here he pretty much diluted it so we gotta get Matt's arm back in sync."

Still not saying much, Eric stood up and made his way to the film room, sitting in the dark. He hadn't turned the screen on yet and Mac followed him in, taking note to Eric's behavior. His demeanor was horrible. It looked as if he hadn't shaved in a few days and the bags under his eyes were much more noticeable than they ever were before.

"Eric, you doing okay?" Mac sat adjacent to him.

Opening his eyes, Coach Taylor glared at his assistant as if he were out of line for being concerned. "I'm fine. Why?" His voice was stern and to the point.

"I'm just relating to you, that's all. You've got a lot on your plate right now Eric, just letting you know that I'm here for moral support."

Eric gritted his teeth, gripping his hands around the arms of the chair he was sitting in. He tried so hard to keep his composure and quite frankly wasn't sure why his temper was going out of control. "I'm fine. I thought I might watch some game film."

"Okay coach, I'm going to go work on practice."

Eric watched as McGill made his exit, staring back at the blank projector screen. He put his hat bill over his face, leaning back. He felt trapped, like the four walls around him were quickly closing in on him and the only way out was miles away and with each step the door moved farther away. Fighting his body, he stood up and walked to his office, opening the bottom drawer of his desk.

Inside was a small bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey that Buddy had brought by as a welcome back gift a few weeks earlier. 'Just a few sips to take the edge off', he thought, putting his lips around the top and taking a few swigs. The sensation burned, but it was one he was growing to love more and more. His eyes read the label, 40 alcohol. He sipped again, this time putting the amber bottle back in its place and began preparing himself for practice later that day.

* * *

Practice started around 3:30 that afternoon and to Eric's surprise every athlete was on time and out on the field when they were supposed to be. He paced back and forth in front of his squad while they did their warm ups and stretches. Before practice he had taken a couple of more drinks from his bottle to mellow out some, he could tell that the moral of his team was low and him being so hard on them because of his stress was like putting fuel on a fire.

"Okay boys, line up first string offense, first string defense." He folded up his playbook, putting it in his back pocket. "No dropped passes, no missed tackles!"

First play was for the fullback and Riggins carried the ball for about two yards before fumbling it. Walking up to Riggins, Coach grabbed onto his facemask with his index and middle fingers, pulling on it.

"What just happened there 33?" He paused, smirking and letting out a laugh. "You forget the fundamentals of holding a pigskin?"

"No sir." Tim shook his head. He couldn't help but smell a lingering scent of alcohol and he wasn't sure if it was coming from Coach or if it was just his imagination.

"Run the play again," motioning for Tim to get back to the line of scrimmage. "Let's be quick but let's be efficient gentleman."

* * *

As the team changed and showered Riggins watched Coach from a distance. His mood was a little off than what it normally was, especially since they had a mediocre practice. He seemed too mellow and relaxed, not stressed and tense about how the last two hours had played out.

"What's wrong Riggs, you got a crush on somebody?" Smash placed his hand on Tim's shoulder, pulling him out of his trance. He hadn't realized he was that obvious.

"No man, just thinking."

"Oh no, everyone look out, 33 was thinking. Call the fire department, I think I see steam coming out of his ears."

A few murmurs could be heard among the few that were left in the locker room. Riggins turned back to his locker, ignoring Smash as much as he could. He now had a decision to make, keep this to himself and wait or tell someone. For all he knew it was just Coach in a good mood. He shrugged it off and packed up his duffel bag, walking out the side door to his truck. The last thing he wanted or needed to do at the moment was stick his nose in other people's business. Coach had barely let him back on the team so he was walking a thin line as it was.

* * *

"You ready to go?" Coach poked his head through the threshold of Tami's office door, smiling at his wife who had her head buried in some paperwork. "It's almost 5:30."

She looked up, pulling her hair behind her neck. "Yeah, let me get my jacket and we can be on our way." Things were tense around them from the recent arguments they had had about Eric's sporadic drinking as well as his behavior. "How was your day hon?" She asked as they walked outside.

"Not too bad." He jostled his keys in his pocket, nearly dropping them on the ground. "Today wasn't bad at all." He leaned in to kiss Tami before she got in the car and instantly Tami could smell the whiskey on his breath so she pushed away.

"Eric." That was all she said, her facial expression angry.

"What?" His voice squeaked a little as he started to go to the driver's side.

"Give me the keys." She looked at her wristwatch. "5:30 and you have a buzz. I'm not getting in the car with you unless I drive."

His looked around them, hoping no one had been watching their little spat out by the field house. "You are causing a scene Tam. Get in the car, I'm fine. It was a shot with Mac after practice."

"A beer in the morning. A shot with Mac. Where do you draw the line? Give me the damn keys Eric!"

In fear that someone was watching he reluctantly tossed the keys her way and sat down hard on the passenger side. He grabbed hold of the door handle and gripped it hard, his knuckles turning white from the tight grip he had on the rubber.

"Excuse me if I want to relax with a drink from time to time." His voice was low and could barely be heard over the murmur of the car engine.

Tami glanced at him from the corner of her eye but kept watching the road. "Time to time? Time to time?! You had a beer at six in the morning Eric!"

He adjusted the baseball cap on his head, pulling the bill down around his eyebrows. "Yeah, well things are a little stressful at the moment. We've got Gracie. We've got a rebellious teenage daughter that woke up one day hating her parents for no reason. The Dillon Panther football team is in shambles from a careless coach! The SUV is broken down and to put the cherry on a brilliant story I'm not making near the money I was last year and we have more financial obligation now than we ever have before! Excuse me if I want to relax with a beer!"

"You don't have to yell at me Eric, we are in this together. You can talk to me about it but please don't use that tone."

He folded his arms over his chest, taking in a deep breath. "These problems are not going to be fixed by your hobby of being the Dillon High guidance counselor. Things are not just going to go away if we ignore them."

A solitary tear trickled down Tami's cheek as they pulled into their driveway. "And you know what? Drinking a beer isn't going to make them go away either." She paused, wiping the tear away. "You can find another place to stay tonight because I don't want to be near you, much less look at you."

TBC……


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter Four**_

Eric stood in the driveway, staring back at the front door of his house, hoping that somehow Tami would come back out in the yard and beg him not to go. He waited a few more moments, swallowing hard as he got his cell phone out of his pocket. His hands shook as he fumbled with the phone. He averted his eyes back up to the front door one more time, hoping that she was at least looking through the window but there was nothing.

He wasn't sure whom he was going to call so he dialed the first person that came to mind, his fingers trembling as he pushed in the keys.

"Hey Buddy, this is Eric. Hey man, what do you have going on this evening?" He paused, waiting for Buddy to answer. "You think you could come pick me up?"

Thankfully Buddy didn't ask questions and was there about ten minutes after they had hung up with each other.

Eric wasn't sure if he wanted to break the bad news to him so he played it cool at first, not speaking of his personal life. After all, Buddy was probably not the best person to come to for advice. "I had to get out of the house for awhile. Thanks for the ride, my Explorer is in the shop."

"It's no problem, I don't have anything going on right now anyway."

Eric felt like he had butterflies in his stomach. He didn't want it getting around town that Tami had kicked him out. News of Dillon's perfect married couple would cause havoc and stress where he didn't want it. Hopefully Buddy would be cool about it. It was the only place Eric could think to go. Buddy was a little pest at times but sometimes he was a good friend to talk to.

They finally arrived at Garrity Motors a few minutes later and he sat down hard in the leather chair on the other side of Buddy's desk, staring up at a mounted deer head that looked back at him. He felt very uncomfortable, like everyone was against him. He never was a paranoid person but lately he felt like everyone knew every little thing about him.

"Just doing some last minute paperwork. Santiago is having some friends over, I really didn't want to be in their way."

Coach Taylor nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek, eyeing a half-full bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey that sat adjacent to Buddy on a set of shelves. "Can I have a swig of that whiskey over there?"

Buddy looked up, smiling at the Coach. "Sure." He handed him the bottle and a small glass. "Why don't you pour me some as well?"

Eric sipped on it, the scent stinging his nostrils. He still didn't see what was wrong with kicking back and drinking a few with his friends. Tami didn't see it through a man's point of view, and he hoped to God that she'd soon realize it.

"You are quiet Eric, you got something on your mind?"

Eric shrugged, gulping down the rest of the alcohol. "Same shit, different day."

* * *

Tami couldn't help but cry. Every time she looked down at Gracie the tears flowed faster down her cheeks with a faint trail of mascara following. Her baby girl reminded her so much of her husband. She heard Julie walk through the front door and she quickly wiped the moisture from her face, trying to hide the fact that she was in shambles.

"Mom? Is dad home yet?" She threw her book bag on the bar, walking to her parent's bedroom. Tami quickly looked up, hoping that her tear soaked face had instantly cleared up but she knew that wasn't the case from the expression Julie had on her face.

"Hey hon, how was school?" She sounded as if she had caught a cold.

"Are you okay mom?"

Tami stared down at the floor, her heart racing fast. What was she going to tell her? 'Oh, I kicked your father out because he's turning into a lush.' Definitely not. She felt her daughter's soft hand touch her shoulder and realized that she was now sitting down beside her on the bed. The only thing she could think to do was hug Julie tightly.

"Mom, what's going on?"

She pulled her hair back off of her neck. She couldn't avoid this anymore; Julie did have to know why her father wouldn't be home tonight.

"Jules, your father won't be home this evening." She paused, finding the courage to continue. "We just need some time apart." The tone in her voice sounded almost like she was trying to convince herself of her decision.

"Was it about his drinking?"

Tami looked up; unaware that Julie knew anything about that. She honestly thought that she and Eric had kept it quiet.

"How did you know about that?"

Julie arched her eyebrow, shifting her weight on the bed. "Mom, this house isn't exactly a mansion. I can hear you guys fight more than you know."

She should've known that. It wasn't like she and Eric whispered when they argued. Sometimes she wondered if the neighbors could hear them. She really had misconstrued the whole situation, kids see more than you are aware of and she hated herself for exposing this kind of trouble to her daughters. Gracie obviously couldn't understand what was being said but she could definitely play off of their emotions and know that something wasn't right.

"I'm so sorry Julie. I'm sorry you had to hear it."

* * *

After about three glasses of the whiskey that Eric and Buddy were sharing Coach Taylor was feeling pretty good. The atmosphere around them didn't seem as awkward as it was at the beginning of the evening and it felt as if his mood had gotten lighter. Thoughts of Tami still lingered in the back of his mind but he didn't feel near as depressed about it. At the moment he didn't want to admit that he was wrong, he was going to enjoy the buzz he was feeling.

"Eric, it's getting late. You think you ought to get home to that family of yours?" Buddy asked, straightening up some papers in front of him.

Eric smirked, setting the glass down on the desk. Home sounded great right about now but it wasn't an option. "Buddy, Tami kicked me out."

The look on Buddy's face made Coach Taylor want to punch him. Buddy almost looked disgusted, that it was all Eric's fault but it was all of course in Eric's head. Buddy was genuinely concerned for him.

"And I'd appreciate it if this didn't get out around town."

Buddy put his hand up, nodding. "I know Eric, I know how important it is that rumors don't start up around here." He paused. "Can I ask why she did it?"

Eric wasn't sure if he wanted to go into full detail about the whole thing. It made his stomach ache to even think about it, much less talk. Maybe venting to someone other than his wife would help though, especially since Buddy had been through this before.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair, debating on whether or not to take another swig of whiskey, which he quickly did. It still hadn't sunk in that this is what got him into trouble to begin with.

"Just a bunch of crap. She's thinking that I'm drinking too much."

Buddy nodded, and Eric squirmed a little in his seat hoping that he didn't have something wise to say back about it. After all, he was drinking pretty heavy at the moment so it didn't help his defense.

"I'm sorry Eric. If I could just say one thing about it, no matter how much you think you are right you go home to your wife and tell her you are sorry and that she is right. That's the only way it'll get resolved. Do it before it's too late."

Eric scoffed, sitting up. He suddenly felt a headache come on as the room spun around him. Bracing himself on the corner of the desk, he tried standing up but fell back down into the seat, his posture sinking low. He had a response to what Buddy had just said but totally forgot about it as he fought against his own body to do what he wanted it to do, and that was get up out of the chair.

"You okay Eric?" Buddy made his way to the other side of the desk, grabbing onto Eric's arm.

"I'm…fine. You got a…you got a place I could lie down?" His words slurred together and he quickly pulled away, not wanting his help at all. A sudden wave of nausea hit him hard and his mouth filled up with spit from his saliva glands working overtime.

"I've got this futon over here that you can sleep on. Either that or you can come back to my place and sleep on my couch."

Eric quickly shook his head no, slamming his body down hard on the mattress below him. He buried his face down in the cushion, wishing the room would stop spinning so fast.

"No." His words were muffled as his hot breath ricocheted back to him. "I don't..want Santiago seeing..this."

"Okay coach, I'll come check on you in the morning."

* * *

Tami had forgotten what it felt like to sleep in her bed without Eric being next to her. It wasn't long ago that he was in Austin doing his TMU thing but she had blocked that time in their life out. She rolled over, hitting the snooze on the alarm clock, something that normally Eric would take care of. His side of the bed was cold and she felt a solitary tear trickle down and hit the fabric of the pillowcase beneath her. She had to stop this crying, she needed to be strong for her girls. So bad did she want to call Eric up and tell him to come back but she couldn't, she had to keep her foot down and be true to her decision.

Forcing herself out of bed she made sure that Julie was awake and getting ready for school. Gracie was smiling up at her from her crib as she reached over to get her and that at least warmed her heart some.

"Good morning Jules," Tami said as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "How'd you sleep last night?"

Julie shrugged. "Mom, you look really tired."

Tami expected that. She wasn't super mom and an hour of sleep wasn't going to make her look like a beauty queen no matter how much makeup she put on.

"If you see your dad today just be normal okay hon?"

"So you don't want me telling him that you are a mess when he's not around? You want me to act like things are just fine and we can function without him?" Julie grabbed her book bag, glaring at her mom. "How about this, how about I just steer clear of both of you and we'll be fine."

Tami didn't have time to respond and Julie was making her way through the front door, slamming it behind her. Tami watched a few pictures on the entryway wall flutter from the hard impact. It was obvious that Julie was taking this just as hard as she was, if not worse.

"I love you too Julie."

* * *

Buddy didn't even try to attempt to be quiet as he entered his office. He threw his keys hard on the table, a loud clank echoing throughout the room. Eric was on the verge of being fully coherent but was still confused as to where he was when his eyelids finally fluttered open.

"Buddy?" He propped his body up with his elbow and felt an intense headache between his eyes form, as if someone was hammering nails into his skull.

"Hey Eric, how you feeling?" He set a small brown bag of food by Eric. "It's a bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast burrito. Thought you might be hungry."

Eric sat up, his body weak and aching from the awkward position he was in the entire night. He ran his fingertips over his face, feeling the stubble that desperately needed to be shaved. He squinted his eyes; the sunlight beaming through the window was intensifying the pain on his brain.

"You got some water or something?"

Buddy handed him a small Styrofoam cup of ice cold water and he quickly drank it down. It felt good going down his throat to his stomach, he was so thirsty that he motioned for more. After about two more cups he laid back again, closing his eyes. Why did people do this to themselves? It was like a self-induced flu. He did have an answer to that question though, he felt good when he got a buzz, he just wasn't sure if the next day was worth it.

"What time is it?" His voice was hoarse.

"7:30. You got some things to wash up with?" Buddy looked over the top of his newspaper at Eric.

Eric grimaced as he sat up once more, the water sloshing around in his stomach. The scent of the breakfast that Buddy brought to him lingered, the thought of eating quickly turned his stomach. Another wave of nausea hit him like a freight train and there was no stopping it from coming up this time. He spotted a trashcan near Buddy's desk, kneeling down beside it as his abdomen muscles constricted from the harsh and abrupt flinching that his body was enduring. He gagged as the water that he had just drank came up. After the queasiness had passed he got off of his knees, fully sitting down. The cold metal of Buddy's desk felt good on his face, his temperature had definitely risen.

Buddy tossed him a wet wash rag. "I've got an extra tooth brush that I kept here before I moved into my house. It's still in the wrapper. There's also some soap if you want to clean up."

Eric felt better after puking up what little he had in his system but he still didn't want to move. Calling in sick wasn't an option, they had a big game in two days and he could hear it from everyone if he didn't show up for work. It was just a hangover; it wasn't like he hadn't endured this before.

He grabbed the corner of the desk, pulling himself up. Just attempting that simple task was like someone asking him to run a marathon. Catching his breath, he took the toothbrush and the bar of soap and proceeded to one of the bathrooms located in the back of the main office.

He was ashamed that he allowed Buddy to see him in this state but he had no other options. He looked up at himself in the mirror, not recognizing the person staring back at him. His hair was sticking in every direction, his two-day-old stubble was growing dark around his mouth and lower face, and the bags under his eyes were a much deeper black than they had ever been.

He let some cool water run into his hands and he quickly splashed it up on his face. His eyes burned from exhaustion but the water was a quick getaway from the pain he was feeling. It took longer than usual to get his hair to fall into place, and it still wasn't to his standards. A few pieces still went in every direction on the very top, but he'd just wear his hat to solve that problem. The stubble would also have to stay, he didn't have a razor and going back home wasn't on his agenda. Hopefully no one would notice that he was dressed in the same clothes as yesterday and thankfully people were used to seeing him in Panther blue more than any other type of clothing.

He tapped on the doorframe, glad that none of Buddy's employees had showed up for work yet.

"Can you give me a ride to the high school? I'm already running late." His throat was sore from throwing up and being dehydrated and coughing to clear it solved nothing.

"Sure thing Eric."

"And thanks, for allowing me to stay here. This should all be cleared up soon."

* * *

Julie couldn't seem to focus on school. During every lecture her mind drifted to her mom and the problems that they were facing at home. She was normally good at channeling all of that towards her schoolwork but this was tearing at her. In fact, she wasn't even in the mood to eat the tray of food in front of her.

Tyra noticed the worry painted across her face, tapping her fork hard on the table to get her attention.

"Julie, are you okay? You haven't touched your pizza."

Julie nodded, a low murmur coming from her lips. She wanted to go to her dad's office and slap him for being so stupid. "I'm uhh, I'm fine. Just thinking about some things."

"Yeah I can tell." Tyra nodded. "You wanna talk about something?"

Julie wasn't sure how much she should talk about. Tyra was in fact one of her best friends and she didn't like keeping things bottled up inside. "It's just my parents. My dad's not staying at the house right now, that type of thing."

"Oh, trouble in paradise I see." Before Tyra could say anything else, Tim approached their table, sitting down beside Julie. "And what do you want Tim?" It was obvious that Tyra still had some bitter feelings towards the fullback.

"I'm actually here to talk to Julie. In private."

Julie looked over at Tyra. "It's okay, we'll go. Just stay here and finish your food." She got up, wondering what Tim's problem was. They walked out into a vacant hallway, Tim's brow creased from worry.

"Hey, are things okay with your dad?"

Julie leaned against the wall. How did news travel so fast, even if it was Dillon, Texas. She took in a deep breath.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw him this morning at the field house. He looks sick." He kept his voice low in fear that someone might overhear them. "I'm scared to confront him, he's really particular about his personal life ya know?"

Julie nodded, adjusting her hair on her shoulders. She was nervous but knew that Tim's intentions were good. He really did care, deep down under the surface was a guy that wanted to do good, and just always got caught at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"He's not exactly living with us right now. That's all I really know Tim. And please, don't go telling the whole team."

He nodded. "I won't." It was suddenly clear to him what was going on with his coach. Now he just had to decide on how he was going to confront Coach Taylor and not screw this up.

TBC… 


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: **This chapter contains some adult language and content towards the end. Read with caution if you are easily offended by things of this nature._

_**Down Poison Chapter Five**_

Eric hated the fact that he had to rely on Buddy Garrity as his means for transportation. He was a good friend but knew that somewhere down the line Buddy would bring this up, wanting some form of payback from him. He leaned against the brick wall next to where his parking spot was. He never gave it much thought, but he never realized how nice it is to have his own car until it was gone.

Buddy's black Suburban pulled up, a shrill squeak from the breaks shot through Eric's ear drums as he climbed in the passenger side. Setting his leather bag down in the floorboard, he felt the inertia pull him as Buddy applied his foot to the gas.

"Where do you feel like eating, Eric?" Buddy glanced at him.

He shrugged, his stomach still churning from that morning when he got a breakfast burrito thrown in his face. In fact, he really wasn't hungry; he just wanted to get away from the school for lunch. He had a fear that he'd run into Tami and his physical appearance was not exactly up to par at the moment.

"I've only got an hour. I need to get back and get my practice organized." His head was itching and he knew it was from not being able to shower. He ran his fingertips through his hair and put his baseball cap back over his oily locks. "Go wherever, I just want something to drink anyway."

Eric could feel Buddy's eyes on him and a quick feeling of insecurity shot through his body. "What is it Buddy?" He didn't want to become hostile with the man that opened his door to him but right now his temper was on an extremely short fuse that had been lit.

"You give any thought to what I told you last night?" He paused, allowing Eric a moment to think about the recent conversations he had with him. "Do you even remember?"

Eric arched his eyebrow, staring out of the window at a lady with a small baby waiting at the crosswalk. His mind instantly thought of Tami and Gracie, and how just one day away from them made him miss them the way he did. It felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach but he still didn't understand why Tami was so furious with him.

"No Buddy, we talked about a lot of things last night."

"Could it be the fact that you practically drank an entire bottle of Jack Daniels by yourself? Eric, you were wasted. What I'm asking about is making things right with Tami even if you think you are right."

He gritted his teeth, tempted to make an exit from the vehicle but the light quickly changed to green, not allowing him the time to grab the door handle and step out. So much anger was flying through him and he couldn't find a way to control it. "Are you my mother? Who is going through a divorce right now?"

Buddy pulled into a side parking lot, stopping the Suburban abruptly. "I'm trying to keep you from going through the hell I'm going through. I'm telling you things to do that I didn't do which could save you and Tami. You two are the it couple. I've always been jealous of the type of marriage you two have. Frankly Eric, I see her point."

Eric's eyes met with his, the words pouring out of Buddy's mouth were like insults to him. He remained quiet, the comments soaking in like raindrops on a drought stricken cotton field.

"I didn't ask for your opinion." His voice was low and raspy. "I just want a drink." He got out, making his way to the restaurant across the street, not caring if Buddy was following him or not.

* * *

Tim was nervous. He couldn't stop pacing in front of his locker before practice started. Why did he always have to witness things that he wasn't supposed to see? First the meth lab and now suspicions of his coach becoming an alcoholic. He stared at Coach Taylor's office door that was closed, and the blinds on the window that overlooked the weight room were shut. The side door of the field house opened, and Smash and Saracen were just arriving to change into their workout clothes.

"Damn Riggins, you look like you've seen a ghost." Smash sat his duffel bag down, eyeing Riggins from across the locker room. "You get rejected? One of those rally girls finally come to their senses?"

Tim didn't even acknowledge the running back, staring down at his hands that were clasped in front of him. He had doubts about informing them now. Smash wouldn't believe it and Saracen probably wouldn't have much of an opinion. Worst case scenario they'd make a huge deal about it and before he knew it the whole team would be spreading it around.

"Riggins, you alright man?" Matt sat down a few feet beside him.

"Don't mind him Matty, he is probably just bracing himself from his latest hangover."

Tim looked up at Smash, the annoyance boiling over. "Williams, you have no idea what is going on. You got your head so far up the recruiter's asses that you aren't even seeing the shit happening to your team right under your nose. And you call yourself a captain?"

Smash's facial expression changed from toothy grin to a frown, his brow creased in confusion. "Hey Riggins, I'm well aware of all the players on this team."

"That's just it two zero, that's just it." He left it at that. Smash had no idea that it was in fact the coach that they needed to be worried about this time, and not an athlete on the Dillon Panther football squad. He'd have to go at this alone, and find a way to confront Coach Taylor, even though it terrified him.

* * *

"We look forward to see both you and Eric at the booster club meeting tonight." An arm quickly stopped Tami as she was exiting her office to go home for the day, seeing the office secretary at the threshold of her door. "Some exciting things are going to be brought up and voted on."

Tami gave a forced smile, unsure of how to respond to that. She was surprised that word of their split up hadn't made it across town yet, even if it did just happen yesterday. Other rumors had spread a lot quicker.

"Oh, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it tonight," Tami replied, adjusting her purse on her shoulder, hoping the secretary would catch the hint that she was in a hurry. She hoped that the lady wouldn't ask for an excuse because she couldn't think up anything off of the top of her head.

"That's too bad! You two set such a good example in this community, especially to the young kids who think marriage is nothing but saying I do. They don't realize what kind of contract they are actually getting into."

Tami's eyes widened. Did this lady know about it but was being snide? Her comment was pretty off the wall and random which made her very suspicious. An overwhelming feeling of guilt rushed through her as well. What if the lady was just being sincere? How would people react when they did find out they were separated? They made a big deal if Eric bought a certain type of gasoline or what page of the playbook he was studying; she could only imagine how they'd respond to this. She could only hope that things would work out before it got too out of hand and before people found out about his drinking problem.

"Yeah, well I hate to cut this short but I've gotta go pick up Gracie. You have a good evening." She quickly exited, not even giving her a chance to respond as she wiped away a few tears that had trickled down her cheek.

* * *

Eric was satisfied with how practice had gone. In fact, it was the one thing about his day that didn't completely piss him off at some point. The rest of his staff had left and he was just killing time until Buddy could come get him. He felt like he was in junior high again and was the last kid left waiting for his parents to pick him up.

Sifting through the bottom drawer of his desk he found a new bottle of Jim Beam that he had bought recently. Not even bothering to pour it into a cup, he took a sip directly from the bottle and quickly hid it back under some paperwork. He heard footsteps and then a light tap on his door that could almost be mistaken for anything but a knock.

"Come in."

The door creaked open and behind it was Riggins. Coach noticed the nervousness before he even entered, his curiosity peaking at what the young man wanted. The office was dark and quiet. Coach had the blinds on every window drawn shut and the computer monitor was off. Anything to help the hangover that lingered was good for him.

"What do you need Riggins?" He held his head up with his right hand, his elbow leaning on the surface of the desk.

Tim stood directly across from him, hesitant to speak.

"Son, what's the problem?"

"Coach..I.." He stuttered a little bit, trying to find the right thing to say. "Coach, do you need someone to talk to?"

Eric sat up, adjusting his weight underneath him. This was extremely out of Tim's character to act like this. "What do you mean Tim?"

"Sir, I don't mean any disrespect coming to you like this, I just want you to know that." He eyed his superior's office, then began again. "I've grown up around people that drink a lot and don't want to admit that they have a problem."

Coach's hands grew clammy as he gripped the armrests of his office chair. He didn't say anything, allowing Tim to finish what he had come for.

"Coach Taylor, what I'm saying is I can tell that you have a problem. I can spot a drunk from a mile away."

Eric nodded, running his index finger over his lips. Now a teenager was telling him what to do? They weren't in his situation so they didn't understand and that's why he felt he had no problem. Drinking loosened him up and it was evident that no one would ever agree with him.

"This coming from Tim Riggins? The. Tim. Riggins. The Tim Riggins that shows up half tanked to practice four days out of the five that we meet?" He chewed on the inside of his cheek. "You have a lot of nerve coming in here, in my office, and telling me this when you should be listening to yourself. Have you ever looked up the word hypocrite?"

Tim swallowed hard. "No sir. I do know what it means though."

"Chances are your mug shot would be under the term. Now get the hell outta my office."

* * *

"Drop me off at my house, I need to pick up a few of my things." Eric still couldn't stop thinking about Riggins and how he barged into his personal business like it was okay. His personal life was off limits and he always made an attempt to keep it that way.

"We have a booster club meeting at 7:30."

Eric glanced at Buddy. "Shit," he replied in a whisper. The last thing he wanted to do was make a public appearance in front of practically the whole town. He wanted to climb into his own bed beside Tami and stay there for a week but this was another prime example of how he never got anything he wanted.

"I would make an excuse for you but it would be kind of odd for the head coach not to show up you know? I can only lie so much before the truth would come out." He pulled in behind Tami's car. "You want me to wait?"

"No, I'll call you when I get done. I'm not sure how long this is going to take."

His heart raced as he entered the front door, the smell of Tami's home cooking hitting his nostrils. His stomach growled and he realized that the only thing he had today were some saltine crackers.

Julie was on the couch, watching TV while holding Gracie. Tami was in the kitchen, standing over a steaming pot of something that he couldn't make out. His stopping by shouldn't have been a surprise since he did call her to tell her he'd be there. She spotted him but said nothing, turning back to the oven.

"Tami can we talk?"

She looked into the living room at their two daughters, remembering how guilty she had felt when she found out that Julie and Gracie had been exposed to their meaningless fights and arguments. "What is there to talk about Eric?"

He smirked. "What is there _not _to talk about?"

She grabbed his arm, pulling him down the hallway to their bedroom, shutting the door. Folding her arms across her chest, she waited on him to speak since she was all talked out.

"I'm sorry Tami. I just want to come home." His eyes pleaded with her. He didn't want to beg but if it came down to it he probably would have.

She leaned in; smelling his scent that was a mixture of his cologne and the remnants of God knows what alcohol he had been sipping on all day. She also took notice to the stubble growing on his face; the black facial hair was overtaking his normally well chiseled features. The black bags forming under his eyes made him look ten years older than he truly was and his posture was that of an eighty year old man.

"If you were sorry you would stop drinking so much. You would do something about this."

"Here we go again." He threw his hands in the air, walking to his closet. "I wish people would stop telling me this bullshit! You know I like to drink! I don't see what the fuck the problem is!"

Tami walked towards him. "Keep your voice down, do you want your kids hearing this? Julie has already confronted me about it because she hears more than you think she does!"

"Notice that you say kids with an s on the end. Plural."

"What does that have to do with anything Eric? Where is this coming from?"

He sat on the edge of the bed, glaring at her. He wasn't sure why he was bringing it up himself; he just felt the need to vent about anything that came to his mind. "Fifteen years we go without having another kid and then suddenly here comes Gracie."

"Again I ask, where is this coming from?"

He didn't stop to answer her, just allowed the words to come out. "You were the one that night that kept pushing me to keep going. The one that kept digging her nails in my back and whispering in my ear, begging for more." As he spoke he stood up, getting in her face, the anger causing tension to build up in his head. "The one that after she got pregnant said having another kid would be okay, that our financial situation was fine. Well it's not fine, and I'm the one that all of this shit gets thrown on!"

Her mouth dropped open, and the moment he said all of that he regretted it. He knew he had hurt her, but there was no taking it back now.

"How dare you ERIC! How dare you blame getting pregnant just on me! It takes two to have a baby or did you get drunk and pass out during sex education? You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it just as much! You could've said no!" Tears fell from her eyes and he knew he had carried it way too far. Mascara streaked down her cheeks to her lips. "You are the one that said she isn't our burden, she is our gift. Or was that a lie? God forgive me Eric but having Gracie is one of the most precious things He has given us. She was an accident, but a blessing in disguise! How could you think any ill thoughts towards her? How could you?" She shoved him, making him fall back onto the bed behind him. He had underestimated her strength, feeling the breath get knocked out of his chest.

"I'm sorry.." He trailed off. "I didn't mean it." He whispered, hanging his head in his hands. He really had messed things up this time and all he wanted to do was try and reconcile with her.

"Get out. Get your stuff you need and go."

Eric approached her, trying to pull her in for a hug but she pushed her hands into his chest, rejecting him. He felt her fingertips through his shirt, missing her touch. "Tami…"

"I don't want to see you right now. Please leave. And please get help before you do more things you will regret. I'm not going to ask you again."

_TBC…._


	6. Chapter 6

**_Down Poison Chapter Six_**

Eric stared out of the window in Buddy's office at Garrity Motors. It was raining again which really accentuated his depressed mood. He wasn't sure how much more of sleeping on a futon he could take. Tim Riggins was already suspicious that things were not sailing smoothly in his personal life and the last thing he wanted at the moment was for this to spread across town. He was watched so closely that he felt like he was a bug under a magnifying lens and every problem that was brought to public view was the sun shining through, scorching him and amplifying his confrontations.

He sat on the edge of the single mattress, feeling the metal bar through the thin layer of springs. He ran his hands through his hair, the silence of the office overtaking him. The only thing that could be heard was the tick of the clock over Buddy's desk that was next to a prized mounted deer head that he had shot years back. It was 10:45 PM and he was anxious. So bad did he want to pull out a bottle of whiskey and drink it down but Buddy's desk drawers were completely empty. Had he taken all of his booze on purpose? Or did he end up drinking all of it? He stood up, pacing back and forth, the words he spoke to Tami thundering through his mind like an F5 tornado.

He regretted saying the things he did the moment the words fell from his lips but he knew there was some form of truth in them. He was the breadwinner and it was his sole purpose to provide for his family. If he failed at that, what kind of man was he? If he didn't put food on his family's table he would never be able to look any of them in the eye again. He didn't mean blaming her for Gracie, and that was the part that hurt the most.

He averted his attention to the filing cabinet adjacent to Buddy's desk, noticing two drawers he had not checked yet. Sifting through the files he came up empty, nothing present to satisfy his craving.

"Can I help you with something Eric?" Buddy was in the threshold of the door and Coach Taylor had just noticed that he had an audience.

"Did you take all of the whiskey out of here Buddy?" He swallowed hard, stepping back. "I seem to remember that I bought a bottle yesterday and now its' gone."

Buddy smirked but didn't attempt to step forward. "Eric, have you gone crazy? You drank all of that last night or did you forget about your raging hangover this morning?" He smoothed his hair with his hand, now walking to his desk. "You really think you need it anyway? Look at the hole it's gotten you in already."

Eric slammed the filing cabinet door shut, causing a loud echo to erupt around them. He grabbed his baseball cap and duffel bag, gripping tightly to the handles. "I don't think it's any of your business Buddy. What is the problem with me wanting to kick back and relax some? I'm not harming anyone!" He stopped himself, feeling he had said too much already. "I don't have to explain myself to you," he whispered.

Buddy nodded. "Just take a look around you, that's all I'm saying."

"And keep your nose out of my life, for one damn minute." Coach didn't give him a chance to respond and made his exit, knowing that he did bring Buddy into this and now he wished he didn't.

The night air was a bit nippy as it hit his face and thankfully a Best Western was just a few blocks away from the lot. The rain had subsided to just sprinkles so that worked in his favor as well. He quickened his pace, the streets were a little eerie when everything was shut down and his imagination took over. He had seen one too many movies and visions of burglars and gangsters in the dark shadows of alleyways toyed with his mind.

He halfway expected the sideways glances and remarks as he entered the front lobby of the hotel. His initial plan was to stay with Buddy until all of this blew over but of course things were not going as planned. He nodded at the desk clerk and pulled out his license and credit card, hoping no questions would be asked and he could check in with no problems.

"One room." He paused. "Listen, I'm not sure how long I'm going to need it." He fidgeted with his wallet on the counter top.

"It's okay Coach Taylor, you can call us before check out time and tell us you are going to need it again, just make sure it is before eleven am okay?" The clerk handed him a clipboard with a small receipt on it. "Just sign here for me and I'll get your key."

He looked around suspiciously, hating the fact that she had called him Coach Taylor. He jotted his name down on the dotted line, grabbing his room key. Room 211. Normally he would've chosen the stairs just to get in some exercise but there was no way his body would allow that right now.

He threw his bag down on the bed, taking in his surroundings. It was that of a typical hotel room, one full bed placed in the middle with one of those vibrant and tacky comforters that never matched the decor, the small nineteen inch television with reception about as good as an analog signal and the same bathroom that seemed to be in every hotel room he had ever been in. It was like every contractor had the same exact blue prints to work with.

He fell backwards onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't really tired at the moment, just emotionally drained and the last thing he needed or wanted to do was sit and let himself think. Rolling over, he eyed the other side of the bed, which was empty. He envisioned Tami lying beside him, her long blonde hair flowing on the pillow next to him, the scent of her hovering over him. He finally allowed a tear to trickle down his cheek and soak into the fabric of the bed sheet below. He traced his fingertip along some stitching of the quilt, making himself sit up. This wasn't right. He didn't want to lay around and cry himself to sleep so he grabbed his room key and wallet and went walking down the empty streets of Dillon yet again.

* * *

Tami was so exhausted that all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep for a week. Physically her body ached and mentally she was so hurt by Eric's words that just thinking about their recent fight brought her to tears. She moved to Eric's side of the bed, burying her face in his pillow that still had a small hint of after-shave scent on it. His cologne made her realize just how much she missed him. She dozed off for a moment but her eyelids jolted back open almost like her body would not allow her to get a wink of sleep.

Tami understood the stress that he was under. She knew that he wanted to be the strong figure that didn't allow anything to get to him, but was confused at the fact that he would let something so insignificant take over his life. How could he choose alcohol over his family? How could he not realize that it was ruining their marriage? How could he blame Gracie on her? The alcohol had a lot to do with that and she could only pray that he'd soon realize that he had a problem and get some help.

Gracie was stirring a bit in her crib so Tami gently picked her up and placed her on the bed beside her, taking notice to every curve in her baby's face, every long dark eyelash around her eyes, and how adorable her smile was. She saw so much of Eric in Gracie that it was as if someone was punching her in the stomach. Julie resembled him but it wasn't as striking as their youngest. It was amazing how a baby of five months could sense the problems around her. Tami could see her change in moods and how much she missed her father.

"Gracie Belle, things will get better soon. I promise you that."

* * *

Eric couldn't believe that he was in line at The Landing Strip front door. He had heard so many people talk about the place but in all honestly had never had the desire to make a presence there. Tonight he didn't care though. Afterall, he was an adult, who had the right to tell him he was wrong for being here?

He nodded at the bouncer, knowing that the man had recognized him. You could always tell by the facial expression, the quick look of shock and the hesitation of whether or not they should say something or just let it go. The music was some type of loud techno, a genre he had never learned to love. He placed a five-dollar bill on the bar and asked for a Coors Light, taking a long swig that seemed to calm his nerves a little bit. Scanning the large room, he looked for anyone that might make a scene, ducking his head low as he found a vacant bar stool down the row from where he was. He was almost scared to look anywhere but directly in front of himself but he felt someone tap his shoulder so he quickly turned to see a familiar face.

"Coach Taylor? Hey, I'm Mindy Collette." She stuck her hand out for him to shake and he returned the favor. Collette. That name was familiar to him.

"Collette?"

"Yeah, I'm Tyra's big sister. You might know her, she's in high school." She had to yell a little bit to be heard over the thumping music echoing through his head.

He nodded, wanting to keep this conversation short. He didn't know Mindy or even Tyra that well but he knew that Julie hung out with Tyra some. "Yeah, she's a good friend of my daughter's." He was so thankful that he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, a good excuse to walk away from her. "Don't mean to be rude but I've gotta take this."

He saw that it was Tami calling and answered, trying to make it to the exit before she could hear what was going on in the background. "Hello?"

"Hey." She paused. "Where are you?"

He was two steps from being outside, hoping that he could fib his way through this. "Sorry, I had the TV on kind of loud."

"I was just calling to see where you were staying. Buddy called and said you left the dealership."

He nodded as if she could see him. "I'm at the Best Western over on 5th street. I'd like to be back in my own bed though."

She sighed, "Eric, that's all in your hands and you know that. You are the one being stubborn about this."

"Tam, you are the one that won't let me stay. Why do you even care where I'm at?" He whispered.

"Look, I'm not going to argue about this again. I'll talk to you later." He could hear Gracie in the background; her small coos made his heart melt.

She hung up the phone and he was left with a dial tone on the other end. Closing the face of his phone he contemplated on whether or not he wanted to go back inside, but decided it was best to just go back to his lonely hotel room and attempt some sleep.

* * *

Julie really wasn't in the mood to be around anyone. She wanted to sit alone in the lunchroom and just eat and mind her own business. Scanning the cafeteria, she saw Tyra motioning her way. Sighing, she approached her, setting her tray of food down across from her.

"Hey Tyra, what's up?" She played it cool like nothing was wrong; hoping the news of her parents split up hadn't spread across town yet. Tyra of course knew about it though, she had told her the day before.

Tyra's smile faded and her brow creased, a sign to Julie that something was wrong. She ran her fork through her mashed potatoes hoping that it was nothing pertaining to her, that maybe Tyra was having boy problems or some other type of drama.

"Julie, how are things going at home?" Tyra fidgeted and Julie spotted her uneasiness making a heavy feeling settle in her stomach.

"Same as yesterday, why?"

"Mindy saw your dad at The Landing Strip last night." Tyra paused. "And Mindy wouldn't make something like that up."

Julie nodded, the food on her tray no longer looking appetizing to her. So many feelings came out. First she wanted to punch something, anything that was near her. Then tears began to pour down her cheeks. Why was this happening? She wanted to stand up and run away but her body wouldn't move.

She felt Tyra's hand on her's and looked up. "Jules, she said he didn't stay long. He came in for like one drink and was out the door. There's no harm in what he did. I guess it really wasn't worth telling you now that I think about it."

Julie nodded, wiping her face with a napkin. "No Tyra, thanks for telling me." She paused. "I just don't know what to do anymore."

"When was the last time you talked to your dad?"

Julie thought about it for a second and really couldn't remember how long it had been. When he came over the day before he didn't say one word to her, all she could gather from her memory was how horrible he looked and how it was as if he hadn't slept for days. "I honestly don't know."

Tyra arched an eyebrow, squeezing her friend's hand tightly. "Maybe that's what you need to do. Go catch him off guard in his office."

* * *

Coach Taylor had his head buried in paperwork and didn't even hear Julie come in until she sat down in one of the chairs he had near his desk. Quickly looking up he half expected to see a member of his coaching staff staring at him but it was his oldest and it was refreshing to see her instead. He nodded, folding his arms over his chest. "Hey Julie."

"Dad.." She trailed off. "I… I really want you to come home." More tears fell down her face, the mascara leaving a trail down her cheeks to her lips.

Seeing his daughter like this made him upset as well, causing a lump to form in his throat. He leaned forward, feeling awkward and uneasy as he searched for the right words to say. "Julie, I know. I want to come home too." His voice was quiet and low. "You need to talk to your mom about letting me back in the house. She's the one doing this."

Julie stood up, shaking her head. "No dad, you are the one doing this. You don't even see it do you? If you'd stop drinking and being such a jerk to her you'd be back home with the family that needs you. Open your eyes!"

He licked his lips, now standing up as well. "It's an adult problem so you really have no idea Julie. And the fact of the matter is you are only seeing it from your mother's point of view. I'm not around for you to see my side."

"Exactly dad, you are not around." She didn't say anything and turned to leave, but came back in, pulling him in for a hug.

He could feel her tears soak into his shirt but he returned the favor, not wanting to let her go. "I love you dad." She spoke into his chest.

"I love you too Julie."

* * *

After football practice Eric really had no desire to go back to his hotel room that had become his personal prison. The entire time he was in front of his athletes he could only notice one thing, and that was Tim glaring at him. He didn't feel like he needed to explain himself to a kid but wanted to at least get on the same page with him. Maybe if he did try to talk to Riggins there wouldn't be such a hostile atmosphere between them. He sat at his desk, unscrewing the lid of his latest Jack Daniel's bottle. He took a drink, savoring the burning sensation that tingled down to his stomach. He didn't even bother with pouring it into a glass anymore; it wasn't like he was going to share it with anyone else anyway.

He glanced at the picture frames he had on his desk; the main one sticking out was the family picture taken the day of Gracie's baptism. He remembered how dead set Tami was on it turning out great. That woman could be so stubborn, but it was one of the many quirks she had that made him love her the way he did. Right now it was working against him, but he quickly tried to think about something else, anything else. Before he knew it the bottle was half empty so he screwed the lid back on and hid it under a mound of paperwork in his bottom desk drawer. He had a new mission, and that was confronting Tim Riggins about his personal life. He grabbed a piece of spearmint gum out of his shirt pocket in hopes that it would somehow mask his breath.

The walk over didn't take that long. At this point in time Eric was feeling pretty good, a heavy buzz overtaking his system from the liquor that churned in his empty stomach. Swaggering up the steps, he missed one and tripped on his own feet, but thankfully caught himself on the top step. He knocked on the door, taking notice to a curtain in the adjacent window that moved but he couldn't tell who was behind it. Standing back and waiting, the creak of the hinges made him look up to see Tim standing in the threshold of the house. Neither person said anything; their facial expressions were speaking for themselves. Eric chewed on the inside of his cheek, a nervous habit he had picked up somewhere down the road.

"Coach?" Tim broke the silence.

Eric smirked. "Hey Riggins, can I talk to you for a minute?" His words slurred together no matter how hard he tried to speak normally.

Tim stood back, motioning for him to come in. Eric tried walking normally but his body swayed a little as he pushed his weight forward. He knew Riggins had noticed, the boy could spot a drunk when the person was sober. "I hope you don't mind if I sit down on the couch, I think I'm coming down with something." He sank down low into the leather, fighting the urge to doze off. The smooth texture was relaxing, but he saw Tim waiting for him to announce why he was there.

"Coach, what do you need?"

Eric sat up, rubbing his eyes as he yawned. He eyed his fullback for a moment, his heart pounding out of his chest. "We really didn't get to talk much the other day when you came to my office."

"Yeah, well you didn't give me much of a chance to say anything." Tim sat in the recliner across the living room; the expression on his face was blank, almost as if he didn't want him there in his house.

It hit Eric wrong and he couldn't hold back from saying something about his observance. "Do you despise me that much that you don't want me here?"

Tim shook his head. "Coach Taylor, I don't want you here if you aren't going to listen to me. If you are going to sit and insult me."

Coach allowed his body to settle back down into the couch. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say to him, his athlete wasn't going to listen to him anyway, no one was. His eyes scanned the room. It wasn't really that messy but he did take note to the beer bottles on the bar behind them. He could use that as a comeback.

"How many of those empty beer bottles are yours Riggins?"

Tim stood up, walking to the kitchen. "This isn't about me, Coach. I think you need to go. I tried telling you what I thought and you didn't listen so I'm not sure why you are here."

Before Eric could say anything, another knock on the door echoed throughout the house. Tim opened the door and Eric saw that it was Buddy Garrity. He got up with some struggle, walking to the door. "Well if it isn't Mr. Buddy Garrity himself. Is that true, you're my buddy? Like what your commercial says?" It was a drastic mood change, but for some reason he felt like acting that way with Buddy.

"Eric, do you know what time it is?" Buddy looked at his watch, completely ignoring Eric's comment.

Eric began to laugh, looking at his own watch. "What, you got a hot date? Or are you taking medication?"

"We've got a booster club meeting in thirty minutes. Don't you think you should be there?"

Eric leaned against the wall, a dizzy spell overtaking him. Now Buddy was going to tell him where he had to be at a certain time? "What are you, my personal secretary? I'm getting really fed up with you stopping by randomly, telling me what I can and can't do. When did you go to school and get a degree in physical education? Guess what, you didn't! I know what I'm doing!"

Buddy stepped back, gritting his teeth. "Yeah, you know what you're doing. You know how to screw up a perfectly good marriage, a perfect way of life you got going!"

Eric threw his hands in the air. "Here we go again." He spun around, ignoring the fact that he was about to fall over and stormed towards the back door. To his surprise both Tim and Buddy followed so he tried quickening his pace to get away from them. "Spare me the God-damn lectures!" He said, yelling over his shoulder.

They were all out in the backyard now and Eric was trying to find a quick exit but couldn't find where the gate was on the fence to head down the alley. He felt a hard grasp on his shoulders. It was Buddy, his fingertips digging into his skin and down to his bone sending a sharp pain through his body. Eric tried fighting back to get out of his grip but Buddy was at an advantage in this situation.

"Let me GO! What in the hell are you DOING?" Eric tried grabbing for anything to foil whatever Buddy's plan was but he had no strength or energy.

Buddy pulled him towards the in-ground pool and it all became clear to Eric what he was intending to do. He dug his heels down in what grass was left before the sidewalk began but tripped, and his body was sent flying into the ice cold water that hit him like a brick wall. He kicked his legs, seeing the surface of the water above him but it seemed so far away. When he finally broke to the top he wasn't sure how it happened but someone grabbed him, pulling him out of the water and onto the concrete on the side of the pool. His vision was blurry at first but he saw both Tim and Buddy standing over him. He sat up and spit some water out, glaring at them. He was completely confused as to what just transpired. It happened so fast that he didn't even have a chance to comprehend it. The cold air hit him hard, causing his teeth to chatter.

"Get him a towel." Buddy motioned towards Tim and then looked back Eric. "We need to get to the meeting which means you've got fifteen minutes to sober up and act normal."

_TBC..._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Down Poison Chapter Seven**_

Eric stared up at the sky above him, frowning when he saw both Buddy and Tim lean over him. He felt a towel land on his legs and sat up, running it over his hair. How did Buddy expect him to go to the booster club meeting? There was no way he'd be dry in time and throwing him in the pool didn't exactly sober him up.

He shifted his weight, forcing his heavy body to a standing position. He was quite embarrassed at the fact that Tim had seen this whole altercation and feared that he would tell someone. How idiotic of him to go to one of his athletes houses like this. Shaking his head, he tossed the towel back to Riggins.

"I trust that you won't say anything about what happened here." Eric's voice was raspy and low as he glared at Tim from across the pool. Turning to Buddy, he gritted his teeth at the anger he was feeling towards the man. "And as for the booster club meeting", he paused, catching his breath. "We are going to be late." He walked past both of them and waited at Buddy's Suburban; the awkward tension between the three of them was too much for him to handle at the moment.

* * *

The last place Eric wanted to be was in public, especially at a meeting. He and Buddy had walked in about ten minutes late since they had to stop by his hotel room to get a dry set of clothes so the attention was already focused on both of them from the beginning. This crowd really annoyed him. They were so fake and phony that he wanted to sit there and point out each of their flaws. They put off this aura of being religious and Godly but you could see it in their personalities that they were the biggest hypocrites that Dillon had ever seen. He sat back in his chair and sighed, hoping someone else would begin the meeting. He hated being the ringleader when it came to stuff like this, and thankfully Buddy stood up and began talking.

Eric fidgeted in his chair, hoping that no one could see it in his eyes that he wasn't completely sober. His hands were wrinkled from being dowsed in water but he kept them under the table. He was so tired that he literally could fall asleep where he sat but he drank down some coffee in hopes that it would give him his second wind. He knew he was being paranoid but it felt as if all eyes were on him despite the fact that Buddy was the one speaking. He'd look in someone's direction and feel their eyes quickly move away in fear of being caught staring. Maybe the news of he and Tami splitting up were around town and that's why they were staring at him.

"So Coach and I have decided that we need some new balls for the girl's soccer team, right Eric?"

Eric looked up towards Buddy, nodding. No matter how hard he tried he could not remember the soccer coach's name. It was a detail he hadn't paid attention to. "Yeah, they are in need of some..." he trailed off, looking back down at the table. "She needs a phone in her office too." Glancing at the soccer coach, he smirked. "I don't want her barging in on me like she did a few weeks ago."

"I didn't barge in on you Coach Taylor. From what I could tell you were sitting around talking." The soccer coach was across the table from him and he could tell she wasn't happy by his remark.

He scoffed, folding his arms over his chest. She really had it out for him and he didn't know why. "Listen, I've been athletic director for a total of two weeks. I'm new at this so forgive me for not knowing what to do right off the bat. We will get you the needed supplies you requested..."

She interrupted him, her tone sharp as she spoke quickly. "Even if that means cutting the funds back on the football department?"

Shaking his head, he stayed quiet for a moment allowing himself to cool down before he said something he'd regret. "Yes, even if that means cutting back on our stuff." 'To hell with it', he thought. He was fed up with people saying the football team got everything and the other sports programs got the leftovers. Even if it were true it still was agitating. "When was the last time the soccer team went to the playoffs?" He stopped, allowing the question to linger. "When was the last time the soccer team made it to the state tournament?" Again he waited. "And best of all, coach, when was the last time the soccer team brought home a Texas state championship?"

The room fell quiet. Eric stared her down, patiently waiting for a response that never came. The soccer coach shifted in her chair, a small squeak from the wheels echoed loudly.

"Coach Taylor, maybe our program would do better if we had the proper equipment."

"With all due respect, you'll start seeing improvements in your staff and equipment when we start seeing an improvement in your performance and record. If you don't like that than I suggest you go coach for another school district." He stood up, grabbing his brief case. "Meeting's adjourned." He didn't wait and allow anyone else to speak and made his exit, stepping out into the parking lot. He wasn't sure if what he had just done was a good idea but he didn't care. He was tired of people razzing him about stupid minor things that in the long run wouldn't matter.

He felt an arm jerk him around and it was Buddy. Pushing him away, he tried to walk away and down the street but he felt his familiar grasp on him again.

"Eric, what in the HELL was that about?" He was inches away from Eric's face, and he could feel his hot breath sting his skin. "You had no right saying that!"

Eric arched his eyebrow. "Heh. So you don't want me telling the truth because both you and I know that's how it is! How about we stop blowing sunshine up their skirts and tell them how it is. Maybe they'll stop knocking down my door and start up winning athletic programs! This is stress I don't need and you of all people should know that."

"You said yes to being athletic director, Eric!"

Balling up his hand, Eric had the sudden urge to hit Buddy and get him away for good but the bigger man caught him off guard, and Buddy's right fist impacted Eric's face, the force of his punch sending Eric backwards and to the ground. His head hit the pavement behind him and an instant feeling of pain erupted through his head. He tried getting up quickly but Buddy had hit him hard and his body was not allowing him to move much at all. So bad did he want to stand up and return the favor but it wasn't happening. With the sluggish feeling from the alcohol in his system and the hard blow he had endured it was impossible. Running his hand over his cheek, he spit out some blood that had gathered on his top gum.

"Oh God, Eric I'm sorry." Buddy stepped towards him, offering to help him but Eric waved him off. "I don't know why I just did that."

Eric couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't amusing in the least bit but it was all his emotions could think to do. Maybe he deserved to be decked, which was one of the reasons he didn't fight back. He stared down at the ground and ran his hand through a puddle that had formed after a brief rain they had in the afternoon. "I got suckered into that and you know it. My pay got reduced. What other option did I have?" He moved his mouth up and down, trying to work out the stiffness that had formed in his jaw. "I have a family to support. How does the school district justify their reasoning to cut my pay after winning state? How Buddy?" He paused, spitting out another drop of blood.

The sound of passing cars could be heard on the street right next to the parking lot they were in. He could see the sympathy in Buddy's eyes but male bonding was not what he had in mind, especially with him.

"I'm not sure why they did that, Eric. It'll get better, you just have to practice at it."

Eric shook his head no. Pointing his index finger in Buddy's direction he retorted, "Don't patronize me Buddy. Don't patronize me." His voice was almost a whisper and was barely audible over the loud vehicles that scurried by. Finally standing up, he turned around and wandered down the sidewalk and away from Buddy. He wanted to be alone and away from any form of intelligent life.

* * *

"Hello?" Tami rolled over in bed, grabbing her cell phone. At first she didn't recognize the number but realized who it was the moment she hit the green call button. It was only around 10:30 and she was surprised at the fact that she was fast asleep so early in the evening.

"Tami, I'm sorry for calling you like this but it's about Eric again."

Tami sat up, smoothing over the comforter in front of her. Her stomach sank low in fear that something had happened to him. "Is everything okay?" She turned on the lamp on her nightstand and waited, hearing hesitation in Buddy's voice.

"He's okay Tami, nothing like what you are thinking happened. He had a bad day and I think he's needing you."

Tami moved the phone to her left ear, kicking her legs off of the side of the bed. So bad did she want to break down and vent to him but it wasn't the right time or place. Besides, it was Buddy Garrity. When was he ever someone she could open up to? She felt the warmth of tears streak down her cheeks, hoping that Buddy couldn't tell that she was crying.

"Did he go to his hotel room?" Her nose was stuffy and if he didn't pick up that she was sobbing than he wasn't a good observer.

"I don't know Tami. He huffed off before I could say anything else."

She nodded as if he could see her. "Thanks Buddy."

Hanging up the phone, she made her way down the hallway to Julie's room. Her oldest was still awake so she sat down on the bed beside her, wrapping her up in a hug. She didn't want to let her go, it was the only comfort from someone she had felt in so long. Julie returned the embrace, her tears soaking into Tami's shirt. Both sat quietly for a few minutes until Julie broke the silence.

"What's wrong mom?"

Tami pulled away, clenching her jaw. It wasn't right that her girls were going through this. What was she going to do to make it right? She was hoping time would play a factor in his recovery but it was only making things worse. The distance spent apart was like a canyon that seemed to grow bigger by the second. She didn't want to lose her husband. Reaching for a box of Kleenex at Julie's bedside she handed her one. Swallowing hard she mustered up the courage to speak, ashamed that she was placing this entire burden on her sixteen-year-old daughter.

"Can you watch Gracie for me?"

Julie nodded, her facial expression full of questions. "What is going on?"

"I think I'm going to go have a talk with your father." She paused, wiping away the moisture on her face. "Yeah, that's what I'm going to do." It was almost as if she had to convince herself to do it.

"I'll watch Gracie mom, it's no problem."

She hugged Julie again, running her hands down her long blonde hair. "I won't be late."

* * *

Eric began to doze off as he watched the Jay Leno show. He wasn't even sure what was going on or who the guest was but he liked having some form of sound over the silence that always made him think too hard. He held a beer can in his hand that was half empty and quickly set it on the table beside the bed in fear of spilling it all over the place. He wasn't sure why he was fighting his sleep; it was what he definitely needed at the moment. Giving in he sank low into the limp pillows, allowing his body to relax. He closed his bloodshot eyes and began to drift off when he heard three light taps on his door.

He didn't even make an effort to look up, keeping his head buried under the covers. "Who is it?" Why was it when he finally got to a place he wanted to be someone had to ruin it?

He groaned after three more taps. Who could be at his door this late in the evening? Eric threw off the mound of covers and sat up. He grumbled as he walked to the door and glanced out of the side window. Tami. He stopped abruptly, trying to gain his composure. He was excited to see her though he'd never let that show on the outside. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and welcomed her inside.

"What are you doing here?" It was weird asking his own wife that question. He'd never get used to living on his own. He ducked his head in fear that she'd see his swollen upper lip. It was something else she'd nit-pick, he was sure of it.

She sat down at the small table designed for two people, running her fingers over the wood. Eric took notice to her uneasiness and sat across from her. She had been crying. He could tell from how swollen her eyelids were.

"I got a phone call from Buddy Garrity." She finally looked him in the face. "What happened to you?"

He cradled his head in his hand, glancing at his feet. He finally noticed the ugly lime green carpet that cascaded across the floor. "Buddy and I had a misunderstanding. It's nothing."

"Did you hit him?" Her remark wasn't so much of a question but more of a comment as if she expected that he did.

Shaking his head no, he touched the cut on his lip with his index finger. "No, I didn't have a chance to. I wanted to though."

She frowned, and the look on her face made him nervous. He couldn't tell what she was thinking and that made him feel extremely awkward. Normally he could read her like a book. "Eric, I wanted to come talk to you. I want you to know that we are here for you. We love you so much. I...love you so much."

He chewed on the inside of his cheek. "You are here for me?" He picked at some of the mahogany on the surface of the table. He didn't want to lose his temper with her so he fought hard to keep a level head. "Funny you say that since I'm stuck in this shit hole by myself." His voice was calm. Trying not to yell was not a simple task for him.

More tears flowed down from her ducts. "You still don't get it do you? All of this time to think about it and you still don't understand?"

He sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Just leave Tami. If you came here to lecture me again don't waste your time. Besides, I was just about to actually fall asleep for once when you knocked." Deep down inside he wanted to grab her and kiss her, to feel her warm body up against his again but his pride said no. What he should've done from the beginning was say he was wrong, she was right and to hell with it all but he didn't see it that way. It almost wasn't worth it though, and his marriage was slowly dissipating. It took two to work it out and if she wasn't going to bend than why should he?

"I came over to try and fix this. To try and see some light at the end of the tunnel, Eric. Your girls miss you! What do I tell Julie when you don't come home yet again? Little Gracie wants to know where her daddy is. How can you put this all on me?"

"If memory serves me right you are the one that showed me where the door was." He strode back to his bed, his face blank from any form of expression. "Now I'm showing you where mine is. Please leave." He watched her silhouette leave and heard the door latch behind her. She had hesitated before she made her exit, making him want to run after her but his feet wouldn't move. He settled back down into the hard mattress, his body screaming out in pain from the exhaustion it was experiencing. Not even able to control it, a solitary tear trickled down his cheek and dropped to the pillow below him. He was coming off as harsh and evil but to be honest it was his only defense at the moment. He knew it wasn't like himself to not listen to Tami but he felt as if the world were against him. His pride played a huge role in all of this. It messed up another situation that could've been a turning point in this whole battle. Today was not a good day and he was glad it was coming to an end, praying that his outlook on life tomorrow would be better.

_tbc..._


	8. Chapter 8

Eric woke up the next morning in a sweat. He licked his lips and rolled over onto his stomach, glaring at the alarm clock. At first he hadn't noticed that it was 9:00 AM until he did a double take, quickly pushing himself from the hard mattress. At first he wondered how he could have slept through the annoying tone that echoed through the hollow room but remembered that he completely forgot to set it after Tami had left.

Gritting his teeth, he moved to a standing position beside the bed, glancing in the mirror on the wall adjacent to him. The hair on the left side of his head was flat against his scalp which meant that he didn't move one inch from the position he had fallen asleep in. He ran his fingertips under his eye, wincing. He had forgotten about the confrontation he had with Buddy until he felt a sharp pain erupt through his head from touching his black eye.

He heard a buzzing sound near his duffel bag, digging down deep in the outside pocket. He grabbed his phone and saw that he had three missed calls, all from the high school. It was probably Coach McGill wondering where he was so he dialed his assistant coach's number and waited, pacing back and forth at the foot of his bed. He had to think of an excuse but nothing came to mind.

"Hello?"

Eric sat on the edge of the mattress, moving his phone to his left ear. "Hey Mac, it's Eric." He let out a cough, realizing that his throat was extremely dry.

"Hey Coach, where the heck are you? I thought you wanted to meet at eight to watch some game film." Mac's tone was sharp and it hit Eric wrong.

He traced his finger over a design in the comforter, his mind quickly thinking up something to tell him. There were so many lies he was having to think up. He knew he'd have to explain his face wounds too. "I fell out of the bed and my head hit the night stand. I had to stop by the ER and make sure I didn't have a concussion." It was the only thing he could think to say that would tie in his being tardy to the injury on his face.

Mac whistled and groaned. "Damn Eric, everything okay?"

Eric fought the urge to lean back and get comfortable again. "Yeah. I'll be there in a bit." He hung up the phone and looked towards the bathroom. The hotel room wasn't big at all, but the walk to the shower seemed miles away to him.

* * *

He pulled his hat bill low over his eyes hoping that the shadowing on his face would hide the ugly bruise that formed under his eye. His busted lip wasn't that bad and could pass for a fever blister. Nodding to two students he didn't recognize he quickened his pace and entered the side door of the field house, thankful that Mac was the only one there at the moment. He threw his bag down on his desk and slammed his body down hard in his office chair. Mac followed him in and stood at the threshold, folding his arms over his chest.

"Mac." Eric drank down some coffee, not making eye contact with him.

"Eric, you sure you are up for working today? We can cover practice if you need to go sleep it off." He moved all the way into the office but didn't sit down.

Eric moved his gaze upward, feeling the soreness in the back of his eye sockets. He was confused about what the older coach was referring to. "By sleeping it off, you mean?" He trailed off and knew at that moment he had said too much. McGill wasn't as naive as he seemed.

"Well at first I meant sleep off your injury but now I'm not so sure." He finally sat down which made Eric more nervous. "Coach, word is you are staying at the Best Western. You and Tami in trouble?"

Eric raised his baseball cap and ran his fingernails through his hair, replacing the bill back over his eyes. He ran his hands over the smooth surface of his desk and stared at Mac. He wanted to reach out to someone and get things off of his chest but it just wasn't right. He didn't want to be vulnerable or awkward with someone. If he told Mac about all of the the recent events that had transpired he'd never be able to look him in the eye again.

He bit his bottom lip, eyeing McGill. "It's a small hiccup but things will work out." He grabbed a clipboard, implying that he wanted to begin his work for the day and hoped that Mac would get the idea that he wanted to end the conversation there. Thankfully Mac stood up and made his exit, allowing Eric's last comment to linger over them.

McGill paused in the hallway. "I hope you two work it out. It'd be a shame to see your marriage end. You guys are amazing." He paused. "Tami is a good woman."

Eric nodded towards him but didn't respond. His words rang true. Tami was the best thing that ever happened to him but he still felt as if this wasn't all his fault. Their marriage was a two way street and she wasn't willing to bend and compromise so why should he? He stared at their family portrait for a few seconds, allowing his attention to stray away from his work and the fact that he was an hour behind on things he needed to get done.

* * *

Practice lingered on and Eric wasn't into it. He stood back and allowed his assistants to take over the spotlight as he observed. He noticed Buddy was in the first row of the bleachers and not on the field. He ran his index finger over his lip, thankful that no one had really questioned his face so far. A few of his athletes had gawked at him from afar but kept their mouths shut, either from fear of asking or already knowing the answer. He wasn't so sure that Buddy didn't spread it all over town.

"Bring it in!" Coach walked to the middle of the field as the team circled around the coaching staff. Placing his hands on his hips he stared at them for a moment, pursing his lips. "Today's practice was sloppy gentlemen. I stood back and observed and noticed a lot of things we need to work on. Go home tonight and study up on your plays. Come tomorrow you better have them down or we'll run the entire two hours we are on this field."

"Who does he think he is? He comes to practice all hungover and shit." Eric barely heard the voice in the back of the crowd.

He arched his eyebrow. "What about me?" He was directing the question at the group as a whole, hoping someone would speak up. He searched the huddle in hopes of finding the boy that was speaking. Normally he was so good at spotting who it was but he couldn't. None of the others were even turning in the direction of where the voice was coming from to aid him. He moved through the group but they all stood strong, keeping straight faces.

He stopped and looked down at his feet and back at them. "Who said that?" His voice was low but each of his athletes heard him. No one answered which heightened his frustration. Walking back to the middle of the field he gave Mac a harsh glare before turning back to the team. "My personal life is none of your business. I'm on this field at 3:30 every afternoon to coach you boys. I'm here everyday with the same commitment you should all have!" He gritted his teeth, turned around slowly and began walking back to the field house. He wasn't sure what he was feeling more, embarrassment or guilt.

* * *

Eric woke up that evening around 7:30, not realizing that he had dozed off until he glanced at the alarm clock and the sun was setting in his second story window. The last thing he remembered was sinking low in the springy mattress at around 5:00 after he left the high school in a fluster. He still had his baseball cap on but it was tilted and the bill was to the side. His legs draped over the edge of the bed and his shoes were still snug on his feet.

Sitting up, he saw his reflection yet again in the mirror across from him. He had stared long enough at the hotel walls surrounding him and decided tonight was probably a good night to get out for a little bit. He wasn't sure where he wanted to go but contemplated it as he stood in the circular shower, feeling the luke-warm water run over his pasty skin. He didn't want to go to The Landing Strip. He feared running into Mindy again. There was a nice corner bar just down the road from here and figured that would probably be his best bet. It was within walking distance and it was on the opposite side of town from his normal hangouts. He knew he'd be recognized regardless of where he went but he didn't want that to be a problem.

He dug through the dresser and sorted through a few shirts he had packed. He found a blue plaid button up that caught his eye but frowned when he held it in front of him and noticed the wrinkles throughout it. Tami had always ironed his clothes and he didn't feel like doing it himself. Pulling the contents of the drawer completely out he scanned over every article of clothing. Four Dillon Panther t-shirts, the blue plaid button up, a few pairs of boxers and socks and a light green polo shirt. He was a horrible packer and this proved it. Yet another thing Tami always did for him.

Smirking, he grabbed the green polo and put it on along with a pair of blue jeans. It wasn't exactly dressy but he wasn't going out to pick anyone up, he just wanted a few beers before he went back to sleep. He smoothed his hair over in the mirror and checked for his wallet in his back pocket. Making his exit he felt the chill of the crisp fall air nip at him as he began his half mile trek to the small bar on the corner of Gardner Street.

* * *

He was surprised to see the bar as full as it was. For a Wednesday night it was packed. Some weird techno music was playing but he sighed when a mellow George Strait song erupted from the juke-box. There must have been a diverse crowd among him, going from techno music to country in a matter of seconds.

He sat down on the nearest empty bar stool he could find and ordered a Coors Light, glancing over his shoulder as he took the first swig. So far no one had even noticed him which calmed his nerves down. The age group was as broad as the types of groups that had showed up. To his left there was a small gathering of younger kids that looked to be in their mid twenties. Directly across from him there was a group of people around his age and thankfully he didn't recognize them.

He looked down, chipping away at some of the wood on the bar that was beginning to wear off. 'What in the hell am I doing?' he thought to himself. Before he knew it he was on his third beer, still sitting alone, listening to whatever horrible music that blasted through the sub woofer near him. The young group of kids had dispersed towards the dance floor and he watched them for a few moments and turned away, not wanting to look like the "creepy old guy."

He didn't even see her sit down or notice she was there until she said something, her hand giving his shoulder a light shove. It was Angela Collette and it caught him off guard. He tried to hide his surprise but let out a low laugh at the sight of her. She was probably attractive at one point in her life, but he could tell that the years had taken their toll on her mind and body. He wondered how her daughter Tyra had gotten so tall when Angela was such a small woman.

"Well if it isn't Coach Eric Taylor. And at The Hideout. What brings you here?" He noticed she was drinking a Bud Light, a beer he could never tolerate. In his eyes it was a drink for those that didn't appreciate the flavor of beer and were just out to get a quick buzz. "Well?" Her voice was demanding as she leaned over the bar, trying to get the server's attention.

He didn't realize that he hadn't answered her and suddenly felt awkward. He didn't know her well at all, just a hello here and there or a quick wave in the grocery store. "Just out for a drink or two. You?"

She smirked as the bartender handed her another beer. "I'm at The Hideout quite a bit. I usually meet friends here." She paused, and he felt her eyes on him which made him look down at the floor. She was assertive and persistent and her reputation was enough to make any married man leery. "It's odd to see you of all people here, ya know?" She studied his face for a moment, pursing her lips. "Looks like I might be wrong though. You involved in a bar fight?" Her index finger pointed at his face.

She was referring to his black eye and he ignored her observation. Arching his eyebrow at her, he wasn't sure how to respond to her comment about not being the type to be seen at a bar. Who was she to judge him when she didn't even know the real Eric? "I'm a person too. There's nothing wrong with coming to a bar."

She shrugged, pushing closer to him. "It's just odd that the wife isn't here with you. I take you two as the type to go to a fancy sit down place, not some smokey bar across town."

Peeling the label off of his Coors, he didn't respond to her at first. The mention of Tami made his stomach hurt and his mind work overtime. What was she doing right now? How were Gracie and Julie? What would she say if she saw him here with Angela Colette sitting next to him at the bar? It wasn't like he was committing adultery, he was having a beer with a face he recognized. There was no harm in that.

"I did hear that you two were split up. How's that going, Eric?"

He looked her in the eye, biting on the inside of his cheek. Did he want to be honest with her? He gripped his beer bottle tightly and took in a deep, smoky breath. "We're working it out. Besides, I don't want to talk about it. I came here tonight to have a good time." He polished off the last sip and ordered another, speaking loudly so the waitress could hear him. "I'll have another, and one of whatever Ms. Collette here is having."

"Thank you Eric, you didn't have to do that." Angela leaned in near him again, trying to get closer.

He nodded, handing her the bottle of Bud Light he cringed at. "It's no problem. I don't know how you can drink that crap." He laughed as he put his bottle up to his lips and heard a small whistling sound erupt from the heave of breath he sent into it. "I should probably get going after I finish this." He looked at his watch and back at her seeing a grin on her face. He had never seen her smile before. She had always seemed so intense to him.

"Oh, the night's still young!" She grabbed his arm and let go quickly and he was glad. It made him feel paranoid. She didn't exactly have a sterling reputation in Dillon and if someone saw him here with her the rumor would be all over town before his head hit the pillow for the night.

He stood up, placing another five dollar bill on the bar. "I've got work in the morning, I really need to go." He started towards the door and knew she was following him. Through the window he noticed that it was raining and frowned. What a stroke of bad luck. His hotel wasn't far but in the rain it would be a miserable, soggy walk. Waiting in the entry way he hoped that it would just stop so he could go but it only fell harder. The gutters of the streets were already overflowing from the quick torrential downpour.

"What's wrong Eric? A little rain never hurt anyone." She wrapped her coat around her midsection. "Besides, the parking lot isn't that far away."

He gritted his teeth and swallowed hard. "I walked here. My hotel is just down the street. I'll wait and see if it dies off some." His voice was low as if he didn't want to say that much to her.

"Oh, don't be silly Eric. I'll give you a ride, it's no problem!"

He hesitated but knew it was getting late. If he waited for the storm to blow over it could very well be the early morning hours before he found himself climbing into bed. Opening the door of the bar, they both jogged off to the north side of the street where the parking lot was. The rain was cold against his skin, causing him to shiver as he sat down on the passenger side of the old, two-toned Chevrolet pickup.

"I'm at the Best Western." He kept his head low, afraid to look at her.

"Okay, no problem Eric." She paused. "What's wrong? You got really quiet!" The hinges of her door creaked as she slammed it shut.

He felt the truck jerk out of gear and pull off into the flooded street. The windshield wipers scraped the glass in front of him in a rhythmic pattern. He looked down at his hands and back up to her, his mind searching for a reason. "I'm just tired. I've got a lot on my mind."

She parked the truck under the awning near the front office and shifted her body towards him. He finally looked her way and saw the concern on her face. He wasn't sure if she was just playing it off or if she really cared. He reached for the door handle without saying anything else but she grabbed his left arm again, making him stop.

"If you ask me, Eric, Tami doesn't know what she's missing."

Eric's eyes widened at her comment and a sharp pain moved to his stomach. It was so random of her to say something along those lines. He didn't have a response but kept his right hand firmly on the door handle, gripping it so hard that his knuckles turned white. He wanted to get out but she had a firm grasp on his other arm. Her fingernails dug deep into his rain-soaked skin.

His heart raced fast when he felt her fingertips move from his arm and up to his hair, brushing through it. "Your hair looks amazing when it's wet. You've got some nice locks, Eric."

She leaned in, her warm breath near his face. Her blonde hair draped over her shoulder and lightly tickled his face, sending a shudder of revulsion through his body. He instantly listened to his instincts that were warning him to get away from her. He backed up against the cab of the truck, his head impacting the window behind him. He hoped she would get the hint that he wanted to be left alone.

"Oh my God, Eric. I'm so sorry." Her hand went to her lips and she genuinely looked surprised. "It's obvious I've had one too many drinks. I didn't mean to be... so forward."

His heart beat out of his chest and he opened the door and got out. He kept it open leaned his body back in. "Ms. Collette, I can't jeapardize my marriage any more than it already has been. I sure do appreciate the ride home." He shut the door and noticed she had rolled the passenger side window down.

"You are very welcome, Coach Taylor. You and Tami work out your differences. You guys are wonderful. It'd be a shame to see such a perfect love go to waste."

Before he could say anything else she put the truck in drive and pulled away, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He knew at that moment that he had to straighten up before he got to the point of no return. He loved Tami and it was time to prove it to her. Despite the dark clouds rumbling overhead, he had seen clearer that night than he had in a long time.


	9. Chapter 9

Eric sat down hard on his hotel bed and stared at the mirror in front of him

Eric sat down hard on his hotel bed, a huff of breath escaping from his lower rib cage as his legs settled into the springs of the mattress. He stared at the mirror in front of him and ran his hands through his damp hair, moistened from the rain shower that had flooded the gutters of Dillon.

"How could you let this get so bad?" he asked himself out loud, wishing that something, anything, would provide him a logical answer. He kicked his boots off and watched them tumble to the floor, almost as if they were moving in slow motion.

A loud thunderclap rumbled outside, echoing through his own personal prison. He turned the bedside lamp off and watched the shadows erupt on the wall from the bolts of lightning that flashed through his vision. The thunder was so loud that it seemed to be rattling the outer walls of the room, but he ignored it. His mind was on making things right.

Thinking about the recent events at the bar with Angela Collette sent a hollow sensation to the pit of his stomach. He rolled over on his side and curled up into the fetal position, hoping that she wouldn't blab all over town that she had sat with him at the bar. He recalled her confrontation with Buddy at church, letting out the secret of his infidelity in front of practically the whole town. This was different though. They shared no romance back at the bar or in the truck. But would she lie? Even if nothing happened people would still wonder what the real truth was. His reputation would be tarnished.

Tami's trust in him would be gone. The trust they had spent seventeen years building up. And only because he was careless, allowing the bottle to take over his life. He would _never _cheat on Tami, but Angela could easily ruin everything. He gritted his teeth, burying his head into the pillows. He slammed his fists deep into the covers, trying to alleviate his frustrations on the tacky patterned comforter.

He closed his eyes and could still see the bright flashes of electricity bolt through the sky from the powerful storm that seemed to be intensifying over the city. He had to talk to Tami. He wanted to get on the same page with her and apologize to her like he should have done in the first place.

He fought his exhaustion and kicked his legs off of the side of the bed. It felt like every joint in his body was sore as he forced his body to a standing position. The dull aches made him wince. The room was almost pitch black as he sauntered towards the bathroom, the few bolts of lightning providing enough visibility for him to get to the sink. If he wanted to get better it meant getting a good night's sleep so he brushed his teeth, washed his face, and stripped down to his black boxer briefs before climbing in to bed.

* * *

The sunlight poured through the window the next day, awakening Eric about twenty minutes before the alarm clock was set to go off. It was the first morning he had woke up without a headache in awhile. The warm blankets around him were so comfortable that he had a hard time inspiring himself to get up and get ready for work, but the thought of rekindling things with Tami made his adrenaline kick into overdrive.

He showered and shaved and made it to the field house around 7:30, beating McGill for the first time in days. He frowned at the mess scattered across his desk. That was so unlike him, to keep his office cluttered. He sifted through his top drawer, grabbing a bottle of whiskey that was three quarters of the way gone. The thought of sipping on that made his stomach churn and it was the last thing he needed. He tossed it into the wastebasket adjacent to him, a feeling of satisfaction erupting in his mind. He turned his attention to the piles of papers stacked across the top of the desk. Glancing up, he saw Coach McGill in the doorway and wondered how long he had been standing there.

"Eric? You are here early." McGill folded his arms over his chest, and Eric could tell that McGill was observing him. "Your eye looks a little better. They ever say there was much damage at the ER?"

Eric had forgotten that he told Mac that he had fallen out of bed. Disregarding the question, he continued to toss things into the trashcan by the desk. "What do you mean? I'm not here early. I always get here at this time."

"Not lately you haven't." Mac glanced at his watch. "I'm going to go work up some defensive plays."

Eric nodded, not even looking up at his assistant. He knew Mac was right and made a mental note that he was one that definitely deserved an apology. It was time to swallow his pride and just do it. He had burned a lot of bridges and couldn't leave things this way. Life was too short and it was creating a hostile environment. 'Be a man,' he thought to himself, dusting off a picture frame as he stared at the now empty doorway.

He placed his hands on his hips, chewing on the inside of his cheek. This was the hardest obstacle for him to overcome, but it had to be done if he wanted to rekindle all of the relationships he had torn down in the past few weeks. Funny how it took years to build up a friendship, but only a matter of days to break it down.

He forced his body to move out of his office. He saw Mac at his desk, a black notebook open in front of him. He lightly tapped his knuckles against the door, the clank of his state ring clicking on the wood. He wanted to make sure it was okay to enter before he intruded.

McGill waved towards him. "What's up?"

Eric didn't sit down, but stood directly in front of Mac's desk. The solemn look on Mac's face made his stomach feel as if a ton of bricks had sunk to the bottom of it. He swallowed hard, taking in a deep breath before he decided to break the silence.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for how I've been acting this past week." He paused, running his fingertips over his lips. "I really have no excuse. I want you to know that. I hope you accept my apology, and I understand if it might take you some time." His eyes met up with the older man's, but he still could not read Mac's body language. He could honestly say that he felt good letting it out, despite what Mac would say back. He deserved whatever was coming to him.

McGill nodded, looking back down at the play-book. "I got really worried about you, Eric. I've never seen you drink that way. You did a complete one-eighty on all of us."

Eric hung his head low, staring down at the faded blue carpet beneath his tennis shoes. He didn't realize how his actions could impact the lives of so many people around him, whether it was his family or not.

"Eric, you get home to those three beautiful girls. I should be the last person you are talking to right now."

Eric pursed his lips, feeling a smile erupting on them. It was the first time he had genuinely smiled in awhile. "Thank you, Coach." He didn't allow McGill to respond and turned around. His next course of action was to stop by Tami's office and smooth things over with her.

* * *

He was glad to see that her office wasn't busy. It didn't matter, though, he'd still barge in like he had many times before, interrupting whatever vital teen problem was going on at the moment. He did have the courtesy to knock, and she quickly answered, her bright smile fading when the door opened completely.

"Eric?" Her voice was shaky. "What are you doing here?" She sat back down behind her desk, brushing her hair off of her shoulder. He stared at her a moment, taking her in. She was dressed in a mid-length black skirt with floral print. Her white shirt fit her every curve, accentuating her beautiful figure. The last few times he saw her she was dressed in ratty t-shirts and old jeans. This was a refreshing change.

He folded his arms over his chest and remained standing. "I..uh.." he stuttered on his words as he thought for something to say. And here he was thinking Mac was the hard part. "I came by to apologize to you, Tami. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened." His voice was almost a whisper. He could tell she wasn't buying it.

"Why the sudden change, Eric? Two nights ago you didn't even want me at the hotel." She sat up in her office chair; her brow creased which intensified her distraught facial expression.

He pondered the question for a moment. Was this the time to tell her about Angela, when she was already fuming at him? He did know he would eventually have to tell her, but the timing just wasn't right at the moment. "Tam, I've had a lot of time to think about things. I've had a lot of people tell me that I'm changing." He began to pace in front of her. "Please. I want to come home. I want to be with you, Julie, and Gracie. Will you forgive me?" He raised his eyes, meeting up with hers. "I never meant to hurt you, Tami." He said the last comment so quietly that he almost didn't hear it himself, but knew she did.

"I don't know. I'm at work, I can't be having this conversation with you right now." Her voice was stern and Eric felt like someone had just knocked the wind out of him. "Please leave. I can't do this right now." She shook her head no.

A slight burning sensation tingled beneath his lower eyelid, and he quickly blinked back the tears. Looking away, he hoped she didn't notice that his emotions were getting the best of him. Tami had always been a strong and stubborn woman, but he wasn't going to give up this easy. Without another word, he honored her wish and left her office, his body feeling limp and tense as he slowly walked down the main hallway of the high school.

* * *

Practice was going to be tough for Coach Taylor. His team was a group of kids that needed to be respected, just as much as he wished for it in return. From their recent comments about his demeanor he knew that they could tell that he wasn't himself. He stared at the team photo on his desk that was taken a couple of months ago at the start of the season. How a few months can change a person.

He had told the team to meet in the film room at 3:30. He was going to attempt to make amends with them and hope that their young minds would understand the stresses that adults could endure, too. He sat at his desk for a few more moments, staring at the photograph. He had to gain his composure for this. How many times had he stood in front of a crowd and delivered a heart felt speech? Too many for him to count, but this was going to be one of the hardest of his life. It would rank about as high as when he had to deliver the news that Jason Street was paralyzed.

He gripped the Rawling's football that he had placed in his top drawer, running his fingers over the smooth pigskin. It was now or never. Fighting the butterflies, he walked to the front of the room, hearing the sporadic conversations dissipate when the team caught glimpse of their head coach in front of the movie screen.

He waited a moment, allowing everyone to settle in. Glancing to his side, he saw his coaching staff. He was glad to have their support, even though he did feel a twinge of awkwardness. He was usually so calm and collected and here he was the one with the obvious problem.

"Gentlemen, I want to tell each and every one of you something. I owe all of you an apology for my actions. I have not been the leader and role model you all need. In fact, I've been a complete hypocrite."

Eric nodded at Mac and went down the row of all of the athletes in the room. Every one of them had their eyes focused on him, which made his palms sweaty.

"I've been late for practices. I've come to work smelling of alcohol. I haven't been someone you can confront." Licking his lips, he continued. "So many times I've told you not to come to practice that way, that you might as well not show up. I'm making a promise to you right now that I will not come to games or practices the way I have lately. I never realized that my personal life could affect so many people around me, especially my football team. That was ignorant of me." He held his hand up, hoping that he still had their full attention. "I'm not saying I won't have bad days, but I guarantee that the recent Coach Taylor that you have all experienced is done with. Again, I am sorry."

The room fell silent. It felt like one hundred pounds of weight had been lifted off of Eric's shoulders. "What do y'all say we go out and have one hell of a practice?" He smirked, hoping that his comment would inspire the young men. Hopefully his speech would lift the morale of the team.

"Yes sir!"

He nodded at them. "Let's get out on the field then!" He tried focusing on the practice ahead, but still couldn't get his mind off of Tami and how she had rejected him. He knew he had to keep trying. He didn't blame her for not taking him back so quickly. Her acceptance was something he was going to have to work for.

* * *

Tami rubbed her temples, glad to see that it was almost 4:30. She could have left earlier, but had some paperwork that needed to be completed before she could go home. It didn't help that her mind was completely distracted. She wasn't sure if Eric's intentions were good or not. It was odd that he had changed so quickly. His eyes were sincere, she could tell that, but he had hurt her so bad. 'Something must have happened,' she thought to herself. That would explain why he had come to her, pleading for her to let him back into her life.

She was on the verge of just bringing him in for a deep, passionate kiss but her pride had quickly told her no. She couldn't be a pushover; it just wasn't who she was. She missed him so much, though. His side of the bed had grown cold, and his own personal scent no longer lingered within the sheets.

Julie and Gracie missed having their daddy around. Gracie might only be a few months old but she had good instincts and could tell when there was friction throughout the household. She adored her father and during his absence she just didn't seem like the same happy baby that she was before his departure. Julie needed her father's guidance. Sure, she could relate to Tami about things but there was a certain special bond that a father and daughter had, and it was taking its toll on her oldest.

She needed more proof that Eric was back. She didn't want him to just spout out words that he knew she wanted to hear. That wasn't Eric to be that way, but then again it wasn't like Eric to sit and polish off an entire bottle of Jack Daniel's in one sitting either. She did remember noticing that he was on the verge of tears in her office. It took a lot to get Eric to show emotion like that, especially in public. Things were just too iffy.

She grabbed her purse and locked her office up, glancing over at a group of junior varsity football players who were huddled up near a set of lockers. She tried not to eavesdrop, but when she heard 'Taylor' within the conversation she couldn't help but listen.

"Did you hear? Coach Taylor apologized!"

"No way! So he admitted that he was being an asshole and a drunk?"

"Yeah! He said it to varsity before practice started!"

Tami's heart skipped a beat. She tried not to make it obvious that she was listening, but the kids stopped when they saw her walk past. Would Eric go out of his way to apologize to _everyone_ if his sole intention was just to go home? Maybe he was telling the truth in her office.

She took in a deep breath as she got into her car, gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles turned white. It seemed too good to be true, and she didn't want to let her guard down just yet. Once bitten, twice shy.

TBC….


	10. Chapter 10

Eric sat on the edge of his hotel bed, staring at the impersonal walls around him. He had said his apologies to the majority of the people who deserved them. Most accepted him, but the one that mattered most in his life had lost her trust in him. He bit his bottom lip and buried his face in his hands. How could he let it get this out of hand? What was he going to do to convince her that he was back?

He grabbed his cell phone off of the nightstand and dialed Buddy's number. He was one person that he hadn't apologized to.

The other end rang a few times and Buddy's voice came over the line. "Hello?"

"Hey Buddy, its Eric. Are you busy?" He stood up and paced in front of the bathroom door. It was so awkward to talk to him after the altercation at Tim's house. He still couldn't believe the man had thrown him in the pool.

"No, I'm not. What do you need?"

It was so odd to hear him be so abrupt and to the point. He obviously was still pissed off. "Can you come pick me up? I need to tell you something, and personally, I don't wanna do it over the phone." He made a mental note to call and check on is Explorer. It had been in the shop for several days now and he was getting tired of relying on others for transportation.

"I suppose. I'll be there in a few." Buddy hung up and Eric glanced down at the face of his phone before closing it and throwing it back on the table. Buddy could be obnoxious and overbearing at times but Eric considered him a friend. He was a man you needed on your side.

He rested his head on a pillow and watched his reflection in the TV. Glaring at himself, he turned away. He couldn't even stand to see who he had become and couldn't blame Tami for not being forgiving. He'd need more proof if it this whole situation were reversed. A tap on the door pulled him from his thoughts and he kicked his legs over the side of the bed, unlatching the chain to reveal Buddy on the other side.

"Come on in." He pulled the door open and offered him a seat at the small table near the front window. Eric took his hat off and tossed it on the bed, ruffling his fingers to try and fix the dishevelment. He rubbed his brow, stalling for as long as he could. It really amazed him that Buddy hadn't said two words when he normally couldn't get the man to shut up. "Thanks for stopping by."

Buddy nodded and clasped his hands together. "What did you need to talk about?"

Eric licked his lips, leaning back in his chair. "I wanted to say sorry for the past few weeks. I know that I let things get out of hand and pushed away the people in my life that cared the most for me. I really appreciate the rides you've been giving me, too. I know it's inconvenient to haul me all over Dillon." He grabbed his wallet out of his pocket, sliding a fifty-dollar bill across the tabletop.

"What's this?" Buddy didn't reach for the money.

"It's for all of the gas you spent. I'd give you more, but it's all I've got right now. Renting a hotel room isn't cheap. I'll give you more."

Buddy put his hand up and stopped Eric from saying anything else. "No. I can't accept that. It was no problem." He paused and leaned forward. "It really hurt me to see you that way. Throwing away a damn good marriage. I screwed up mine, I didn't want to see you do the same thing."

Eric's eyes stung and got watery, but he blinked back any chance of a tear falling. "I know. I just lost control. I'm so sorry, Buddy."

Buddy stuck his hand out and Eric shook it. "Good to have you back, Coach. I can definitely say you look a lot better than the last time I saw you."

Eric let out a low laugh. It was the first time he had truly smiled since he could remember. "Can I ask you one more favor?"

Buddy nodded. "Sure."

"Can you give me a ride to my house?"

"How about this, Eric? I'll let you borrow a car off of the lot as long as you promise not to run away with it." He reached across the table and slapped Eric's shoulder. "I get to see my kids tonight. And that way you won't have to keep waiting on me to pick you up. How's that sound?"

"Sounds good to me." Eric wasn't going to argue. It would give him more freedom to take as long as he needed on the errands he had to run.

* * *

Buddy had loaned him a used Chevrolet Silverado from the back of the lot. Despite the fact that it was used, it smelled new and he took in a deep breath, enjoying it. It had been so long since he had experienced that scent. He sat for a moment, adjusting the mirrors and seat before turning the key in the ignition. The V8 engine cranked on and the radio blasted from the speakers. An old, sappy country song poured into his eardrums. He normally loved that genre of music, but not right now. The songs hit home for him and reminded him of his problems so he reached for the volume knob, muting it.

It was a little after six PM so the traffic wasn't too bad as he pulled out onto the main highway that ran through town. He wanted to hold Gracie and feel her soft baby skin up against his face. He wanted to sit on Julie's bed and chat with her about her most recent school project or her weekend out with her friends. Just to be in their presence would be enough for him.

He turned down his road, slowing his speed when he pulled up to his house. Tami's car was in the driveway. The shades were open in the front window and he could see the TV screen cascading the evening news. He felt hesitant now. What was he, a peeping tom? It made him feel so dirty to sit on the side of the curb and stare into his own home. Again, he wondered, how did it come to this?

He put the truck in park and strode up the sidewalk, trying not to talk himself out of this. He grimaced when he rang his own doorbell.

"I'll get it mom!" Julie's voice beamed from the other side and her footsteps got closer. The hinges creaked as the door opened and her smile grew much bigger when she realized it was her dad on the doorstep. "Hey Dad!" Her eyes brightened. "Are you back?"

Her question was like a sock in the stomach. He said nothing and pulled her in for a tight hug, running his hands down her silky hair. "Is your mom around?" He didn't let her go and let her decide when to end the embrace. She pulled away and looked back into the house.

"Mom! Dad is here!" She opened the door wider but he didn't enter. He wanted Tami's permission first.

Tami made her presence, her welcome not near as warm as Julie's. Her eyebrow arched and she motioned for Julie to go back into the house. She shut the door behind her and stepped out on the porch with him. "Eric, what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? This is my home." It probably wasn't the appropriate thing to say, but it fell out of his mouth before he had a chance to think about it. He stepped out onto the grass, kicking some auburn colored leaves that had recently fallen from the season change. "Tami, please, I want to come back."

Tami folded her arms across her chest. "I told you earlier, I've got to think about it."

He looked down the street and back at her, not feeling comfortable discussing this outside. There was no telling who could hear them. "Can we go in? This is a little public, don't you think?"

Tami motioned for him to follow her. They walked down the hallway and back to their bedroom. She slammed the door and remained standing. He sat on the bed that he missed so much. He longed for the random snuggling on Sunday mornings before church, the lovemaking, and the playful pillow fights. Everything.

"Tami, I've got to tell you something. Can you please sit down? You are making me nervous."

She sat down beside him, but there was so much distance between them that he couldn't even reach out and touch her. He stared up at the ceiling and back at his hands, searching for the right words. It was time to tell her about Angela before she heard it from someone else, when the rumor mill would drastically change what truly happened that night.

He pursed his lips. "I realized something the other night when I was out. Angela Collette came onto me when she gave me a ride back to the hotel." He watched Tami's facial expression transform from being blank to complete anger. "It was raining and she offered. She tried to kiss me but I turned away and got out of the truck."

A tear formed on her eyelid and trickled down her cheek, leaving a trail of mascara behind it. She remained silent aside from a whimper that escaped from her throat.

"I'm telling you this because it made me realize how blessed I am. I'd never step out on our marriage. _Never. _I'll never drink that way again. I've got a good thing going here. I just got overwhelmed. I didn't handle it appropriately. I want to be completely honest with you." He held his hand out but she didn't grab it. "I wanted you to know about Angela," he whispered.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and pulled her hair back off of her neck. The silence was killing him and her body language was impossible to read. "Angela Collette?" She cleared her throat. "One of the biggest loud mouths in town."

Eric nodded. "That's why I wanted to tell you before you heard a lie. Please believe me." His voice was shaky and he tried everything to control it.

"I believe you about Angela. What I'm having a hard time with is your instant change." She stood up. "I still need some time to think and sort this out. If you really mean the things you are saying you will leave and give me a chance to."

He followed her to the entryway. He just wanted to go back to the hotel, pack up what few belongings he had and come back. But she was right. He cared for her and if all he could do for her was honor her wishes, he was going to do it. Leaning in, his lips brushed up against hers but she quickly pulled away. "Leave. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

She shut the door in his face and he hung his head in shame as the tears he had been fighting off all evening finally flooded his vision.

* * *

He didn't want to go back to the Best Western but he had nowhere else to go. The streets were empty and businesses were closing down for the evening, giving Dillon a ghost town vibe. He splashed through a large puddle as he pulled into the parking lot, a hollow feeling settling within him as he walked up his stairs and back to his own personal hell.

He inserted the key, watching the security light turn from red to green. Grabbing the TV remote, he scanned through the few channel selections offered for the room package he had bought. Whatever happened to the free HBO that was advertised high on the billboards along the freeway?

He watched an infomercial that showed a new cleaner that claimed to get out anything from any type of material. He really didn't comprehend what the lady was spouting off. His mind was on Tami and what else it would take to convince her that he would never do this to her again.

Striding to the small cooler in the kitchenette, he glanced inside to find a bottle of Coors Light on the bottom. He gripped the long neck and felt the cool glass under his fingertips. Water trickled down the side and dripped down between his palm. He set the alcohol down on the table and stared at it, gritting his teeth like the inanimate object could feel his anger.

Eric watched the drops slide down the smooth surface, forming a ring at the bottom of the bottle. He relished the flavor of beer flowing over his tongue and down his throat but grimaced at the thought of how much pain and suffering it had caused his family. He grabbed the beverage and stood over the bathroom sink. Hesitating at first, he tilted the drink and watched the amber liquid circle down the drain, the last remnants of the poison being sucked up and out of sight. The poison that had taken so much away in so little time.

He leaned back against the wall, feeling a rush of satisfaction settle within him. He hadn't felt that good in a very long time.


	11. Chapter 11

Eric was caught off guard the next morning when he heard his cell phone ringing. At first he was confused and couldn't remember where he had left it the night before. He fumbled in his covers, kicking his legs through the sheets that were tangled around him. Finally gaining his composure, he found his phone on the cabinet in the kitchenette, just in time for his voicemail to pick it up. He opened the face and saw that Tami had called. He clenched his jaw and felt knots form in his stomach, killing any hunger pains he was feeling before.

His heart raced when he called his voicemail and pushed through the automated voice on the other end.

"Eric, its Tami. Come by the house after practice this evening. I've got some stuff I want to talk to you about." It was hard to read her voice. It was monotone and so unemotional. He hit repeat and listened again and finally deleted it after a fifth go around.

Maybe she had decided to let him move back home. He grinned and sat on the edge of his bed, running his hands through his disheveled hair. Gripping his phone tightly in his hand, he stared down at the silver metal. Doubt settled within him. What if she was going to tell him she wanted a divorce? He shook his head and fell back into the mound of covers. Tami wouldn't do that.

Curling up in a ball, he glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was 6:30. He still could use some more sleep but reluctantly slung his legs over the side of the bed and strode to the bathroom. The sooner the day started the sooner he could find out what Tami had to say to him. How he was going to focus on his work was beyond him.

* * *

It was 7:45 when Eric pulled the loaner pickup into his parking spot at the school. He had driven by the other faculty lot and saw Tami's car out front and fought the urge to stop by her office before going to the field house, but thought it was best to let it be for now, and wait it out until this evening. He had to honor her wishes, which was the first step in showing her that he truly cared for her.

McGill was already there, his head buried in a play book. Eric tapped his ring on his office doorframe, getting the attention of his offensive coordinator. "Coach." He nodded and gave a small smile. "You ready for a good day?"

Mac shook his head. "That all depends on you, Eric." The older man's facial expression showed hesitation, and Eric knew that he still had a hard time trusting him, which was understood. He didn't blame him; he'd be the same way if the situation were reversed.

"I'm trying my best to get your trust back, Mac." He paused and placed his hands on his hips. "Ya know, trust is a funny thing. So hard to build up, but so easy to be torn down. You're a good man, McGill. I'll see you at 8:30 for game film."

He walked down the hallway into the weight room, taking in the scent of worn leather and the remnants of a mixture of different brands of after-shave and cologne. He couldn't remember the last time he stood in the center of the locker room and notice the small things that surrounded him. The character posters. When he was a kid he used to think each quote was corny. Now, looking at them made him frown and hate himself for his recent actions.

His favorite saying was plastered up above a set of lockers to his left, and was one he read over and over again, relating to it on more than one occasion. _Character is who you are when no one is looking._

He laughed to himself, but not because he was amused. It was more like he was embarrassed with himself, or even ashamed. He preached those words every other day. What a bad example he was to so many people, not only his family, but also the fifty young men who came out to play football under his guidance everyday. He hoped he could gain the respect back from his athletes as well. He had a long road ahead of him, but he knew deep down he could face it and get things back to normal. Turning around, he went back to his office with the hopes of getting things off of his mind.

The hours passed by slowly. Eric fidgeted through game film, trying hard not to look at his watch. None of the other coaches noticed it, which surprised him. He was acting like a five-year-old in desperate need of some Ritalin. The future of his family was on the line and he couldn't take much more of this waiting game with Tami.

He had a good feeling deep inside. His gut was telling him that she was going to accept him back into her life, but on more than one occasion he had sensed things with her and she did a complete one-eighty with him. He trusted his instincts, but when it came down to Tami and his daughters he was a champ at second guessing himself.

"Do you want to do that, Coach Taylor?"

The mention of his name pulled him from his thoughts, and he turned to see Coach Crawley and Coach McGill staring back at him. He bit down hard on a sunflower seed, breaking the shell between his teeth, trying to gain some recollection of what the conversation had been about. He looked from Crawley to McGill, but nothing came to mind.

"I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"

Coach Crawley leaned forward in his chair. "I was thinking we might want to focus on some weight lifting this afternoon. Westcott's front line towers over our boys and outweighs us by about thirty pounds. We gotta get some strength back in their legs."

Eric spit the shell out into a plastic cup. "Yeah, that's fine. I think there's rain in the forecast again anyway." He sighed when the two of them went right back on to chattering about the practice ahead, not even thinking about his lapse of attention.

Practice came and went, and passed faster than he thought. The morale of the team seemed one hundred times better than the weeks before, and his captains were actually looking him in the eye again. All except Tim, who was still cautious around him. The kid had dealt with alcoholics his whole life so Eric understood how he was disinclined to accept his apology right off like everyone else had.

After practice he pulled his fullback aside, shutting his office door behind them. "Have a seat, son."

Tim slung a towel over his shoulder and hesitated, but sat down with a thud. Eric remained silent for a few moments, searching for something to say to him. "I know you are having a hard time believing that I'm okay now."

Tim sat back, shifting his weight. It was apparent he was nervous and felt awkward, so Eric jumped right in. "I won't keep you too long, Riggins. I just wanted to say that I know that I put you in a bad position, going to your house the way I did. I hope that you'll soon realize that I never intentionally meant to do that to you, you understand?"

Tim licked his lips, running a hand through his damp hair. "Yes sir."

"I'm not expecting you to jump up and give me a hug or anything. But I'll say it again, I'm sorry." He paused. "Now go on and do what you do after practice. See ya tomorrow."

"See ya, Coach Taylor."

That was in no way an easy conversation for him, and he knew that within the next twenty minutes he'd endure an even tougher one with Tami. Bracing himself, he swallowed the bile in the back of his throat and tried to work past the nausea that overtook him. He had waited impatiently all day for this and now he couldn't make himself get up and go. So much was riding on his future.

* * *

Tami's car was parked in the driveway when he pulled up to the curb. Gripping the steering wheel tight, he glared down at the speedometer and turned the key in the ignition. "Here goes nothing."

The walk to the front door seemed like a mile and his fingertip shook as he pressed in the doorbell. Familiar footsteps walked to the door and Tami greeted him, her hair curled and running down her shoulders and flowing down her back. She was already out of her work clothes and dressed in a pair of workout shorts and a gray Dillon Panther football shirt. She looked so beautiful.

"Come in." She shut the door behind him, guiding him to the living room. "Julie took Gracie to the park. I didn't want them around right now." Her face was so expressionless that Eric wasn't sure which way this would go, so he didn't say anything and allowed her to do all of the talking. "You look a lot better than you did a few days ago."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I've stopped drinking. Been getting more sleep." He put his hand on her shoulder, brushing his fingertip over a loose strand of hair. "You look amazing as always."

She crossed her legs and folded her hands over her knees. "Sleep hasn't been easy to come by for me."

"Why?" He let his hand fall, tracing down her arm and to her hands. Her skin was silky smooth.

Tami cleared her throat. "Just so much on my mind. I had so many emotions. I hated you. I loved you. I missed you. I despised you. I never thought once that I could feel hatred toward the man I married. You proved me wrong." She looked down, pulling her hand away from his. "You really hurt me, Eric. After eighteen years of marriage, how could you do the things you did? It was like someone had invaded you. It was so out of character." Tears flowed down her cheeks. He stayed quiet, allowing for her to vent everything she had been feeling. "The things you said about me getting pregnant with Gracie. It felt like you didn't want that precious baby girl. Like it was all my fault. It takes two to conceive, Eric." She stopped and wiped the moisture from her face.

Eric's heart was breaking. He never could handle seeing Tami cry, and since it was because of things he had did only accentuated the horrible feeling. "Tami, I didn't mean that about Gracie. And I…" He helped wipe away some of her tears, the warmth of the liquid on his fingertips made his own eyes sting. "I don't have an excuse. All I can say is I'm sorry. I was just so stressed. I felt trapped."

"Eric," she whispered. "We are married. We are supposed to be there for each other. If you are stressed I'm here to help you."

He closed his eyes and sunk down into the couch cushions. "I know. It was a mistake. I'll never hurt you again. Will you let me come back home?" The question hovered over them for what seemed like five minutes. He had unexpectedly gained a sense of patience because he knew that's what Tami wanted from him.

"Gracie and Julie need their daddy. I need you. I want you. I missed your body beside me at night." She leaned in, her perfume tingling his nostrils. Her lips brushed up against his. "I missed how you made love to me." Her kiss grew more passionate as her body pushed up against his, her hands skimming through his hair.

"Tami, I'm so sorry." He pulled away, looking her in the eye. She didn't respond, only kissing him again, her lips moving down his neck and to his chest. A feeling of sheer happiness engulfed him. Tami was accepting him back in her life. He had a hard time masking his excitement and let out a laugh.

He pulled her face against his, her pained expression replaced by a smoldering hunger. "I love you so much, Eric."

"I love you, too."

He made a promise to himself right there and then to never take things for granted. He had come so close to losing the three things that mattered most to him in the world and there was no way he'd allow it to happen again. Being given a second chance held so much more meaning than it ever had in the past.

After being lost, he had finally found his way home again.

_Special thanks to Maryilee for helping me beta read this story from the time I started to the time I finished. Thank you!_


End file.
